Liz Strauss just posted The Object of the Game of Life- a post which starts by musing about board games, and playing.
Almost exactly one year ago I wrote an article on a similar subject:
How to win compassionately.
I want to encourage you to read Liz’s post, and my article, and to think about your business and what it means to ‘play to win.’
Obviously, there are people in the business world who ‘play to win.’ But, in my mind, they aren’t playing- they are waging a war, and devastation lies all around them and their companies.
On the other hand, there are many heart-centered people in business who aren’t playing, and aren’t playing to win. They are holding back, not throwing their full selves into the game.
Is this true for you? Are you holding yourself back? Read Liz’s post, and read my article and come back here- what boundaries or limits would make it safe for you to play to win in your business?
Hi! I’m going right now to read your post! It sounds wonderful. Thank you for thinking my work should be read with yours.
Liz
Oh, this subject is so dear to my heart! I’ve been exploring playing to win with my clients for several years now, ever since the minister in my church asked in a Sunday sermon, “Are you playing to win, or are you simply playing not to lose?”
That question changed my life and my business.
Like Liz, I grew up in a board game culture. It was the same way with sports, too — when I was a kid, the PLAYING was way more fun (and therefore, more important) than the WINNING.
Somewhere between kidhood and adulthood that seems to get lost for many of us. It’s easy to lose track of the playing and start to worry about the winning. And as soon as you start to worry about the winning, you’re playing not to lose.
Playing not to lose is not a fun way to live. It relies on a fearful, defensive, reactive strategy; it tends to separate you from everyone else and it breeds competition and scarcity.
Playing to win is an approach that inspires creativity, innovation, faith and courage. When you play as if there is nothing to lose, then playing IS winning. And All That Is is on your team.
When I heard that question in church that day, I realized I had a choice. I could live life as if I was playing to win, and thrive — or I could live as if I was playing not to lose, and get by on whatever I managed to hang onto through sheer force of will.
I choose playing to win.
Thanks, Liz. The way we’ve created our world over the last few centuries has landed us in a precarious situation. I think we need to all of our resources to respond- including playing. Thanks for jumping in with everything you’ve got, Liz. It’s part of what’s called in Judaism Tikkun Olam- the repair of the world.
Kathy- you sure do- and thanks for sharing the story. Those moments of truth and realization cut through everything, don’t they?
I love the distinction you make: “As soon as you start to worry about winning, you’re playing not to lose.” Counter-intuitive? A little, but dead-on. Sharp, sharp, sharp!
Very important posts. They’ve hit home so precisely, I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach. As much as I’ve tried to deny it, I pretty much quit playing years ago. Maybe that’s why for years I bristled when I heard the word “fun.” But playing to win in this context seems a whole different thing – I’m not sure I know what exactly, but certainly something to sit with.
Thanks!
Shawn! How wonderful to hear from you! I’ve been hearing fabulous things about you from my buddies Molly and Jen.
I get what you mean- I had been allergic to fun for quite some time, too. So woo-hoo! Let’s see what happens.