What I want to talk about is money, a subject near and not-always-so-dear to our hearts. My own walking with money has been both one of extreme struggle and of extreme ease. I have a failed business in my history, and two mediocre businesses (one broke even, the other barely went ahead), and before that a successful 8-year career as an employee. I have found myself on more than one occasion sobbing on the floor in terror and rage about my money situation. I am now, thank God, in a place of relative and growing abundance, and I want to share a secret.
The secret: It's really never about the money. If you are in a hard financial situation, I know EXACTLY how very challenging it is to believe this.
But it's true. It's never about the money. Never. Your challenging financial situation is a gift, yes it is, a gift that is given to you so you can feel the emotions and reactions that come up, so they can be cleaned, and you can receive trust and caring in your heart (and your stomach!) in place of your fear. This doesn't mean you jump immediately to feeling the gift.
One day I remember checking my bank account and "somehow" all of the money I thought was there I had spent. I was $3000 short of what I needed in the next few days, and the fear and rage that hit me dropped me to the floor sobbing for over an hour while my wife did her best to comfort me, while dealing with her own fear and reaction.
In my shame and fear I asked my father for help, and there I learned a very important fact. My dad told me that their success in the face of my seeming failure came because they had received help when they were starting out. The intimacy created in that situation, and the relief that flooded in me came not from the money he sent me (although that helped), but from the knowledge that they received help. This important step, in a moment, washed years of shame, guilt, and fear out of my belly, and was one of my first steps on the road to financial abundance. The next couple of years were spent really walking through and facing the emotions and beliefs I held that I wasn't going to be cared for. It doesn't have to take that long, but you do need to be patient with yourself.
While it's true that in my situation I had a parent who acted as the agent for the Divine, my clients have had many different situations act in the same capacity when they were finally able to go to rock-bottom and wash some of these core beliefs, such as: an unexpected bonus from an employer, a forgotten debt from years ago suddenly repaid, a new, and expensive, client suddenly coming in out of the blue, an inheritance from a distant relative who died more than a year before suddenly being released, an unexpected adjustment from a creditor to show that the client didn't really owe the money, and even no unexpected financial miracles, but receiving emotional and spiritual equanimity that provided a feeling of spaciousness, that allowed the client to tightrope through to the other side. Let yourself really face the emotions and issues within you, so you can have a chance to experience the Divine caring for you.
So, before you are sobbing on the floor, $3000 short on your bills and rent, try these steps:
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THE PROCESS
• Start always with the Remembrance, which is the calling of the Name of the Divine in your heart, to let yourself be in the Presence of your deep heart.
• Ask the Divine to bring the essence of money in front of your heart, and notice how you react to it. Let yourself really feel your reaction.
• What is under this reaction? I have found that most, but not all, people have more than one layer of reaction. Let yourself feel what is in this deeper layer. And, as you become familiar with it, let your heart show you as many layers as you have.
• Then, ask to be shown what quality or qualities (such as trust, love, compassion, strength, etc) that are being nurtured, developed, unveiled for you through your experience with money. Your reactions are only the twisting of the Divine Qualities. What is the clear essence of the quality that is being brought out in you?
• Drink in this quality- it is not yours, which means you aren't responsible for creating it! Relax and you can receive it and fill up with it. Ask for help in receiving it, and letting it come through into your body. Silently repeat the name of this quality in your heart. Really allow it to come in.
• From this place of receiving, ask what is one new thing the Divine would like you to take on in creating a healthier relationship with money? Let yourself be in a place of not knowing, of curiosity, a willingness to be surprised as you ask in your heart.
Every time I've led this exercise, people are surprised by what they find. Let yourself be willing to be surprised in the exploration of your heart. If you already knew the deep truth, there wouldn't be a problem now, would there?
If you would like assistance and support in walking through your money and business issues (which I recommend highly- that's how I got through mine)- pick up one of the workshops below, or contact me by email or phone, and together we can find what suits your needs best, whether it's something I offer, or a referral to someone I can recommend.
best,
Mark