by MarkA while ago our blog was in the same boat as many other blogger’s–posts, but no comments. If you look back at 2006 and into 2007, nada. No one responding, it seemed.
I’m thinking about this, because the wonderful Corrina Gordon-Barnes wrote in (by email, not in a comment 
) with this question:
Amazing Mark… A question for you:
When I write a blog post that resonates, I receive a lot of direct feedback from people via email, Facebook messages, texts, Twitter, etc. I LOVE to hear about their experiences and to know their perspectives on the topic, AND what they write is often so good it should be shared. (Plus as you can imagine, replying to each person individually can be pretty time-consuming!)
My ideal would be that the blog itself becomes a buzzing forum for this kind of feedback and that there’d be a sense of community and solidarity where people gain insight from each other as well as from my replies.
I notice that you have a ton of comments online and I’m wondering what top tips you might have for inspiring people to comment directly on the blog itself…
Thanks and with eager anticipation,
Corrina Gordon-Barnes
www.youinspireme.co.uk/blog
Well, I’m honored to be asked. The truth is, I’m astounded at how some of my friends and admired colleagues have many, many more comments than we receive. Like Havi, Chris Garrett, or Naomi Dunford for instance. Dozens and dozens of comments. Holy cow!
That said, I’m really touched by how many people do respond on the Heart of Business blog, and having gone from zero to what we have now, I do have a few things to say about it.
Comments Are On a Public Stage
So many people are absolutely thrilled and excited about the interconnectivity of social media. “It’s all about the conversation!” people gush. Well, yes, and…
How many conversations do you have while hundreds or thousands of people are listening in on your every word? Does the cold, creeping chill of stage fright shiver your spine at the thought? Don’t forget, public polls still report that people rank “speaking in public” as their number one fear.
It does help that writing online is one step removed from actually speaking on a stage. But not a lot. Unless your audience is made up of professional speakers or other people accustomed to presenting in public, then know people are shy.
It IS About Numbers
Whatever number of people read your blog, a certain percentage of them will want to comment. A certain small percentage. A certain tiny percentage. Get more numbers, and you’ll probably get more commentators.
People who tend to comment most are those:
- Who know me well from interactions in classes, are on our membership site [link: http://thebusinessoasis.com], Twitter pals, or other bloggers I’ve commented on or emailed.
- Who are comfortable speaking or showing up in public.
- Who are actively wanting to network with me (I’m not saying they aren’t being genuine–they are. And, they want to show up in my space. I love them for it.
- Who are, for reasons unknown, inspired to do so.
How many of these kinds of people hang around your blog?
The Four Things to Increase Comments
If you want more comments and community, then let me reiterate some things that top bloggers recommended over and over again.
1. Writing content that both attracts attention and creates intimacy. I really try to write how I talk. I try to open my heart and be vulnerable, as well as share my expertise. I’m not always as successful as I’d like. There is an approach that I use that helps.
2. Invite those closest to you, clients and colleagues, to your blog. Show up on their blogs. After you blog, send private emails (more emails!) or tweets to folks telling them you’d love to hear their insights.
3. Create a “culture of intimacy” on your blog. When someone emails you, invite them, if they feel comfortable, to repost their thought or question on the blog. Give them the link and instructions on how to do so right in the email. (Something I’ve only been moderately good at.)
As more people post questions on the blog, it will become more normal for others to do so.
4. Grow your readership to proportionally increase the numbers of people who like to comment.
You’ll Still (Hopefully) Get a Lot of Emails
It’s really tempting to prefer having conversations through comments and commenting simply because, in some cases, it’s easier. And having more comments definitely brings a sense of aliveness to your blog in a way that can really help.
However, don’t poo-poo those private emails. When someone reaches out to you through an email, instead of in public and on the stage in the comments of a blog, there is a chance for much deeper intimacy. There is a chance to really care and respond to that person.
And, in that connection, they just might feel safe enough to become a customer or client.
Being high touch with a business is time consuming for the business owner and feels amazing to the client. If you try to be too efficient, people can lose that feeling of being treated as special.
When someone feels special, truly seen, they are on their way to becoming a raving fan. And a raving fan is someone who will hire you and purchase from you, who will recommend you to others. Raving fans will, in general, include you in their trusted community, which is not only a great and humbling honor, but it also helps to expand the reach of your business.
While it’s possible to do that to some extent by receiving blog comments and replying to them, it does not contain the feeling of a private, one-on-one conversation. People have told me things in private emails that they would never post in a public space. And I’ve responded similarly.
I love people commenting on the blog. I’d love to see even more activity, with people meeting each other and learning from each other. And at Heart of Business, we cherish the private messages we receive by email and elsewhere.
I’m curious–if you have a blog that gets comments, what have you done to nurture that kind of online responsiveness?
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29 Comments... Care To Join Us?
Want to know the definition of irony?
That I liked this post and started going off without commenting!
The reason? Mostly due to not feeling like I have anything to add to what you’ve written here.
But you’ve definitely given me a new perspective on how to think about comments and the blog in general. Thanks for that!
All the best!
deb
Deb Owen´s last blog ..anything is possible (but there’s a catch)
Thanks for this lovely post, Mark.
I’m especially intrigued by the “create intimacy” part of this equation. I wonder what that would look like, and how that would feel like.
I tend to resist being empathic a lot – I don’t like to energetically cross ties with other people.
I’m wondering if there is a way I can strike a balance between understanding and connecting with people, being intimate, and also getting to maintain my sovereignty.
I see myself as being a bit of a visionary eagle, and I can find it difficult to land to connect with others without losing that visionary spirit part of me.
Goddess Leonie | Goddess Guidebook´s last blog ..Spiritual Reasons Why I’m a Vegetarian
Hi Mark
Great article and yes I agree with Deb here that I rarely comment on people’s blog because I don’t feel I have anything to add. Your article is great and gives me the motivation to keep working at my own (very young) blog. A question for you: what was the turning point for people’s active participation on your blog? Did you change something in the way you did things just before things started to change….
I agree with Deb. If I don’t have anything significant to add, I’m not one to simply add a “great post” comment. In the future, I’ll try to remember that even simple feedback like that can be significant to the author.
Thank you so much for this insight Mark. I have been wondering why my readers don’t comment often. I think my topics are often quite tender and personal, so it only makes sense that they would email rather than comment publicly.
I’ll have to think about ways to start the conversation that are a bit more low stress, maybe?
Karen DeBolt´s last blog ..Self Care Challenge: Making a date with yourself
Thanks, y’all! You can imagine how I was sweating bullets over this one… Gee, I wonder if anyone will comment on it? Well, if you’re not willing to get egg on your face, you might as well not be in business.
But, I appreciate you saving me from the egg-fate.
@Deb- Thanks for not going off and leaving me all lonesome! I’m definitely not the master at creating huge numbers of comments, but I’m glad this post helped you see it from a different perspective.
@Goddess Leonie of the Beautiful Website- I hear ya! And, of course you want to preserve your eagle-ness!
I don’t think empathy necessarily means you get caught in someone else’s quagmire. Empathy is such a basic miracle humanity, in my humble opinion. Empathy is one of the magical tools that helps us relate to each other, to know that we’re not alone.
People so want to feel witnessed and seen. Simply witnessing someone goes such a long way to creating intimacy and safety.
In fact, I don’t know how successful I was with you, but look how I created empathy/intimacy here. I wrote “Of course you want to preserve your eagle-ness!” It wasn’t just rote repetition, “I hear that you mumblety-mumblety.” What I did was really take in what your concern was, and then say it back to you to let you know I got it.
I’m curious- how did that land with you? And if it did land well, what can you glean from that for your own writing?
@Mosaic Dream- Turning point, turning point… hmmm… I don’t believe there was a single turning point. You know, going from zero commenters to an occasional commenter here or there didn’t seem like a big leap. And then I noticed- hmmm… lots more people here.
I definitely think the design of the blog helps. I took a look at your blog and two things jumped out:
- look how hard it is to comment on your blog compared to mine. To comment on yours, one has to find a little-bitty envelope-icon, and then guess that if they click on that it means they can leave comment- when actually I would guess it means send an email…
- You don’t have any way for folks to subscribe to your blog, through rss or elsewise. You want to go to Google Feedburner and set up a feed, and then put an option to subscribe on your blog.
Someone may not comment the first time they read. But after reading four, five, ten articles they may feel they know you well enough to post a question or a comment.
@Ken- Simple feedback definitely helps. And, I think the author has to also do some work on creating the relationship so that you care enough to leave a comment. I mean, one motivation to leave a comment is for a friend or someone you genuinely likedbecause you want to support them and show up. But you wouldn’t do that a distant stranger, right?
@Karen-Perhaps more low stress. Also, when someone emails you, you can invite them to post it to the blog. Especially if they’ve emailed you more than once, and you build up some trust with them.
So funny…I’ve been dealing with this issue *very* publicly, and even though it’s embarrassing to admit – yeah, we want comments. And not just comments, but that whole “we’re in this together” thing.
Thanks for this, Mark.
Sarah Bray´s last blog ..Newsflash: Not everyone can succeed with online networking
@Sarah- I was hoping you would turn up here- I only just yesterday briefly saw your post- Havi referred to it- and saved it in Evernote. I’m coming back!
And yes, we’re all in it together. Thanks for being part of my “we.”
Mark, I often read a blog post that moves me, and don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say: thank you for this; it speaks to me.
When people visit my blog and leave a comment, even if it’s very brief, I feel connection, community, and support. When they share their stories in their comments, a rich tapestry emerges. Comments can weave a creative synergy.
Thank you for this thoughtful post. I come here to share in the gift of your presence, and to deepen my perspective with your wisdom.
Much love to you,
Hiro
Hiro Boga´s last blog ..What I Learned About Life & Business From Crossing The Road In Bombay
Mark, I’ll echo some of the other comments. I often read a post I really like–and may even forward the link to others–but don’t leave a comment because I don’t have anything to add and don’t want to take up space with an inane remark like “Awesome!” Many of us who occasionally leave comments are reading your blog regularly and benefiting from your wisdom
, even if we don’t always jump into the discussion.
Thanks for the tips on blogging, which I expect to start doing soon. And what the heck is CommentLuv?
Mark, I’m pretty sure I was one of those people who would email you comments, and I’m slowly transitioning over to the more public blog comment. I couldn’t help myself! I’d get an email from you and it would just make me want to hit the reply button. It was like you’d been reading my mind. In some ways, your personal, warm style–which invites comments–also makes me feel like I’m having a solitary, unique experience that only you would understand. Ha! Well, the more I read blog comments, the more I see that we’re all together on this, trying to figure out what works and how to be our best selves in our businesses. I’m slowly getting used to the idea of sharing what still feel like personal thoughts on comments. I know how much I enjoy reading others’ comments–and definitely enjoy getting them!
Mark, I am SO grateful that you blogged in response to my query.
It’s been fascinating to see several people say they don’t comment because they they don’t feel they have something to add or “don’t want to take up space”.
It’s the same feeling we can have as bloggers! Both blogger and commenter is vulnerable, stepping forward tentatively, fingers to keyboard, daring to believe that we might have something worth adding to the millions of conversations happening across our world.
So Ken, you’re right on: any feedback we get for our writing is SO precious because it affirms us in our hope that we have something worth contributing.
Corrina
Corrina Gordon-Barnes´s last blog ..Swimming The Channel
I wonder about commenting. Most of the time I want comments on my blog because I want to create interesting dialogue by sparking the imagination. Sometimes though, I admit that my ego wants the comments too… wants to be validated in some way and that doesn’t feel quite so good a reason.
I love how you mention the intimacy that comments create. It’s interesting that my bloig is a very personal view of my own personal development and I make myself pretty vulnerable at times. Commenting on other blogs however feels less secure.
I like your line “if you’re not willing to get egg on your face, you might as well not be in business”. Great reminder for me as a fairly new blogger. Not everyone will like what I write. Those people will go elsewhere and I know I cherish every one of my readers who do stay and their comments because it adds greater depth to what I write.
Jude´s last blog ..Break from your routine and do something surprising
hello mark!
loved this post, thanks for sharing (and thanks, corrina, for pointing me over here).
aah blogging, and the eternal quest for comments! i’ve been a casual blogger for nearly 6 years now. at various stages i’ve had regular commenters… mostly people whose blogs i read and commented on in return! definitely a sense of community, which is great. i’ve gone on to become close friends with two of my blogging pals from early days. the funny thing is, i always had a hard time trying to persuade friends and family to read my blog. maybe now it’s a more normal way of communication… but i seem to have a lot of computerphobe friends in the ‘real’ world!
i struggle now with writing posts at all, and thus my readership has dropped off! part of the reason for not writing is the lack of comments (why is it that a comment is like some sort of affirmation of self… and feels like rejection when no one stops to write! how strange we humans are). obviously if i’m not writing i’m not getting comments… so writing more posts would be the thing to do, right? maybe i will…
one thing i do to inspire people to comment is ask questions!
xe
eroica´s last blog ..
I liked this article particularly your slant on creating intimacy which you do do. Enjoyed reflecting how you do that.
It was so great to see Corrina’s email quoted on your newsletter, both as a friend of hers and as a British reader seeing you quote a fellow Brit.
Mark, it would be wonderful to see you over this side of the pond some time?
Rosalyn
Rosalyn´s last blog ..Saying it out loud
Total blog comment anxiety! And naturally, there’s an email that you blogged again about exactly what I needed
Being from “both” sides of the fence (a blog reader who is a bit shy about sharing my thoughts & ideas becuz I think they are irrelevant amidst all the AWESOME commenters AND a blogger who sits and hopes and wishes and waits for WordPress to tell me I’ve got something to moderate… OY! I need to drink some more of my own kool aid, be right back!)
-So the shy piece, ding!
-The “sharing your thoughts is ‘next to’ public speaking”, ding ding!
-Creating intimacy (into me see, an oldy but goodie) ding ding ding!
Per usual, right to the heart of MY business Mark! Thank you!
Mynde´s last blog ..Are You Enjoying The Process Of Getting There?
Hello Mark,
Wonderful question and a beautiful response from you.
I think one of my highest values is genuine connection, so this is an issue close to my heart.
The authenticity among bloggers (such as yourself and those you mention) and those who comment have encouraged me to step up in expressing my voice on this very public stage. (In some ways it’s more public than speaking. Words are forgotten. Google is forever.)
When I blogged a few years ago, there were always comments and it was a delight — instant gratification — to post something and get an immediate response. But the quality of the responses was different.
My new blog is, well, new. But the honesty and intimacy of the people who appear is astonishing. My love for the world, my belief in the fundamental goodness of people, is renewed with every comment.
Like Corinna, I hope my blog will become a place of community, giving and receiving all around. At the same time, I’m learning not to hold too tight to my own little blog. As a blog-ger, I’m discovering greater community as I visit, comment (or not) and see familiar names and faces.
Like yours.
Mahala Mazerov´s last blog ..Help Wanted
@Hiro- Yah! The heart so wants to be known, to be seen, and so hearing from someone who cares is really a mini-healing. Or perhaps not-so-mini.
Thank you, beloved!
@Anne- I want you to know that it’s just fine with me if you aren’t moved to comment.
I love it when you do, even if it is just a witnessing, and I’m absolutely 100% okay if you don’t.
And thank you for your kind words!
CommentLuv is a Wordpress Plugin- meaning something that gets added to a wordpress-powered blog to add functionality- that allows you to add a link to a recent post on your blog.
Just above you, you can see that line “Hiro Boga’s last blog ..” and the link? That’s what CommentLuv does. It’s a way to help create more interconnection and community.
@Kelly- Hey, I’m grateful you queried! This is so true so many places in life- both people in an interaction are feeling tender, risk of vulnerability is avoided, and opportunities for connection are missed.
It’s totally okay that that happens. I just don’t want to make it a regular theme in my life, personally. Risk the tenderness and connect! Love it. And thank you!
@Jude- Just to repeat what I said to Hiro- that it’s okay that you want to be seen, witnessed, acknowledged. It’s a risk, because it doesn’t always happen. However, the yearning in the heart to be witnessed is a very legitimate yearning.
@eroica – Any friend of Corrina’s! And yes, blogging has definitely become more normal. Even I’m blogging! Crazy… And, I have friends who actually don’t like to be on a computer at all. Something about that actually speaks to me…
And yes- asking questions. Absolutely.
@Rosalyn- Thank you for the invite! Corrina and I have been kind of lazily discussing just that idea. Maybe in 2010? Our boys are too young to travel and know where they are (eight months old), but we do hope to use Heart of Business as a great reason to get them to see the globe.
@Mynde- Ah, my friend! So glad you’re here! I’m glad it helped, because I love your voice in the world and on your blog and on our blog here! Don’t stop!
@Mahala- Good point about Google- comments are forever… Especially if it’s on a blog that has good SEO.
I am astonished, too, that such connection and love is available through this electronic medium.
I think the key is that our blogs together create community. We’re already there.
As you pointed out.
I’m so glad you’re in the world, and putting your voice out there.
“resonance” says it all for me.
That’s when I feel a lot of positive energy in my heart and have a real desire to communicate with the person blogging. Then commenting is natural and easy.
What a joy it is to find people in social media that have this effect on me!
I include you of course!
Judy
Getting the hang of blogging takes both the practical know-how and, I think, practice in the medium. What I mean by that is that there are nuances in any communication medium that we can only learn by doing. That goes for reaching out and inviting people in as well as for readers becoming comfortable enough to comment.
When I first heard that I “had to” go to lots of blogs and read and comment in order to generate traffic at my own blog, my heart sank. It seemed like so much work. The motivation was so mechanical.
But what I’ve discovered is that reading and commenting at other people’s blogs is less about the mechanics of getting traffic and more about seeding relationships and learning how to water those seeds.
A lot of experts make getting traffic and converting visitors to commenters and then to clients sound mechanical. What I appreciate about you, Mark, is that you provide the solid mechanical info, but always in the context of the human heart.
Molly Gordon´s last blog ..Have Your Say
@Judy- Isn’t it wonderful? I love the connections I’m making with folks, and it does open my heart in a way that makes me want to contribute to them.
@Molly- Thank you, Molly, for those kind words. And, it’s true- there *is* a mechanics to it- but that doesn’t mean there can’t be heart and wonderful intention.
And I so agree with you- I had a long, slow learning curve getting the hang of something that is actually so normal. But, the mechanics of it had me missing the point for some time.
Thank goodness I’m not too old to learn new tricks.
Mark, you wrote, “I so agree with you- I had a long, slow learning curve getting the hang of something that is actually so normal. But, the mechanics of it had me missing the point for some time.”
Which reminds of the manifesto I’ll be working on at @jenluden’s writers retreat in Taos at the end of the month. As you know, the point of it is that self employment is the most natural thing in the world, yet we can make it so hard. That, too, I think is because the mechanics of unfamiliar roles (being the owner/boss/marketing department/service provider) can make it seem mysterious and alien.
But, as you know, it’s not. ♥
Molly Gordon´s last blog ..Have Your Say
This was a great post, I’m not sure how I ended up here.. wait, I think it was via twitter somehow.. anyway, I’m def. going to take your insight to heart on my blog.. it’s discouraging when I dont get comments.. I know people are reading and I get occasional emails, but as a blogger, I just want to know that what I’m writing is helpful, enjoyable, encouraging etc. if it’s not, I’d mix it up a little.. but then as a reader I there are times when I really enjoyed or found a post by someone else very useful or well written but I dont comment b/c there are 500 other people that have found it so as well and have already said what I was thinking. This is the case here (though 500 may be off a bit
) I dunno, I liked your post, I’m interested in your blog and am happy I came across it, I think you just helped me be a better blogger and blog reader… . thank you!
Mariah´s last blog ..Inside all of us…. is a WILD THING.
Hey Mark,
How are you?
I can really feel and appreciate your honesty.
I am new to blogging and commenting. Seems like so much to learn. Same as some others, I wonder if my comments add value.
I feel that reading your article gives me more willingness to be vulnerable online.
Thank you.
@Molly- When I first heard the idea of that manifesto, I got chills down my spine. I cannot WAIT to read it. I’m glad you get to be with Jen at her retreat to help it along!
@Mariah- Thanks for posting! And gosh, 500 comments would be a bit insane. When the numbers get that high, I figure- heck, who’s reading my comment anyway?
I’m so glad that my insights resonated with you and added to what you are wanting to do as a blogger, and as a citizen of this larger community. I hope to see you around here more!
@Latifah! Sister! So nice to see you here- I can’t even imagine you have time to be online with all of your little ones- although maybe at this point you are getting a bit more spaciousness…
Thanks for popping up and adding your voice here. I’m glad what I wrote helped you. More vulnerability is almost always a good thing.
Great post! Glad I found your blog.
Kathleen Krucoff´s last blog ..Kathleen’s Newsletter
@Kathleen- Right on! Glad you liked it.
I came across your (great) blog today. Thank you for your useful advice.. I’ve been reading a few posts and clicking on the buttons to receive the workbooks, etc … and now I’ve reached this post about comments. Sometimes people leave quite a few comments on my blog. Sometimes none. Sometimes one person may be a repeat commenter. Sometimes, left up to comments I might think that hardly anyone reads the posts. Then I meet people offline and they say “I read your blog and …” Some are more comfortable mentioning their feelings in person. It’s partly what you said about people having an online stage fright. Some people are more “readers” than “bloggers”, so they’re not familiar with things like filling out online comment forms, etc. Sometimes people tell me in person or by email “I wanted to leave a comment but couldn’t figure out how to.”
Elspeth’s lastest post: After the fire
It’s so true- and thank you for your kind words and taking the time to share them here- I appreciate your comment!
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