By Posted in Sales & Conversion.

An Upset Customer is Your Most Profitable

Our cat, Rafi, just jumped into my lap and insisted on being petted. Dumb me, I finally realized that I needed to take a break from working, and spend some time petting him- giving and receiving love. This led to getting a wonderful hug and kiss from my wife. Sometimes, the distractions in our work are actually our best medicine.

Similarly, I want to give you a medicine for dealing with upset customers. (A customer can be a paying client, or your boss, or an employee, or anyone you deal with.) And why an upset customer can be the best thing that happens to you all day. This started because I had to deal with MCI, who did their “best,” and left a bad taste in my mouth.

Well, to make a long story short, they clearly made a mistake, and the result was that I was left without voicemail on my business line for nearly two weeks. What’s worse is that this happened four hours before I was to leave town for 10 days.

I was not pleased. In fact, my initial phone calls to MCI customer service were not terribly polite, and I was in an uproar. My business, as does yours, depends on me being in touch with people, and I was angry and upset.

After many phone calls, and many discussions, we found a solution- my wife bought an answering machine to use until they could get voice mail up on my phone, and they “worked on it.” Oh, and a $21 credit. So much for their “exceptional customer service.”

When you face someone who is upset with your services or product, what is really going on? Well, the first thing that is going on is strong emotions, and, if you’re anything like me, this can scare or upset the heck out of you. If someone is coming on strong with a lot of anger, sadness, or fear, or, most likely, a combination of all three, it’s disturbing. It triggers our “fight or flight” instinct.

“Service,” isn’t really what it’s about at this point. What it is really about is “caring.”

First, caring for yourself, and then caring for the person who is upset. Just let go of trying to solve anything at this point, you won’t be able to anyway. First you deal with all of the emotions that are in the picture- your own emotions and their emotions. This is a huge opportunity for you to shine, to show up as a human being with someone.

I wish someone at MCI had just said, with feeling, “Wow- I’d be upset too, in your situation. Just hearing you talk makes me concerned about your business.” It’s not a line, it’s the truth about seeing me where I am, and being vulnerable about where they are.

If I had heard that, I would have probably calmed down, knowing that someone was truly connected to me. From there, a solution could be found, even if they were powerless to do anything about the voicemail, as it turned out they were. They were at the whim of Qwest, the local carrier, who didn’t have a lot of incentive to accelerate the process for them, considering Qwest just lost me as a customer to MCI.

But here’s the key, and why an upset customer can be your best profit all day. A lot of research into customer loyalty shows that strong customer allegiance is built more by bad situations handled well, than by never having had a bad situation. In a relationship, you can only learn to trust the other person when the relationship is put to the test. If everything is always roses, how do you know they will really stand by you when things fall apart?

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Exercise: How to care for an upset customer

1) As the interaction happens, how are YOU feeling? Even if they are talking a mile a minute, upset, angry, and crying, FIRST take stock of your own reaction. Are you angry? Defensive? Scared? Be honest. Let yourself feel that emotion while they are talking.

You have to do this first. If you try to “listen,” or do any other “good communication” exercise before dealing with your own emotion, you will just be throwing fear, anger, or whatever it is you are trying to ignore at your customer. At that point, no matter what you say, or how well you pick your words, you will escalate the situation.

2) Start the Remembrance. For those unfamiliar with this, it is to repeat the Name of the Divine, whatever you use to call to the Highest Light, and saying it into your heart. Not with the idea of fixing anything, or healing anything, or seeing anything. It’s just remembering that there is something more than just you in the mix. If anyone has questions about the remembrance, please ask me. It’s fairly simple, but there are easy places that people sometimes get stuck.

3) Now, start to identify how they are feeling- angry, sad, scared?

4) At your first convenient opportunity, let them know that you get how they feel, share with them a little bit of how you are feeling in relation to their situation.

5) Here you either repeat back to them what you heard of the details of their situation, or, if you were too busy dealing with your own emotions, ask them to tell you again the details of what happened, and repeat it back to them to make sure you both are on the same page.

6) Here are some central points once you know the details of what went wrong, and you have cared for all the emotions.

* Be in a conversation with them, not just telling them what you want to do.

* If you made a mistake, apologize, and clean it up. “You’re right- I messed up. I feel bad about that, that’s not how we like to do business. I will refund you the full purchase price, and I will send you the item without charge.”

* Ask what solution they would want. “Given the situation as it is, what would you like to see happen from here?”

* If you can, provide the solution they want. If you can’t, tell them what you can do to fix the situation- “I know you missed that teleconference call because I didn’t get you the number. I can’t redo the conference call for you, but I can either refund you the cost of the teleconference, or I can give you a one-on-one session, at no additional charge, to go over the topics and answer your questions.”

Remember: Being present with your emotions and their emotions before trying to fix anything, and then really giving as much as feels good to you to give can turn a bad situation into a customer, and referral source, for life. Plus, you get the added benefit of having done the right thing, and feeling like your business is a place anyone can feel at home in, no matter what happens.


By Posted in Business Relationships, Outside the Lines.

You and Your Business–Are You Two "Together"?

I was talking with a friend and client recently, let’s call him “Jimmy L.” He started out okay a few years ago, but then a variety of those life events have left him with a stalled business.

How did he feel? Frustrated, scared, angry. And, he and his wife have a new baby on top of it. Okay, multiply the fear out a few times.

Now, there are a lot of ways we can go with a situation like this. We can look at the core of the fear and where it’s coming from, bring some healing to it, so that you can have clarity and peace as you move forward.

We can look at what he’s actually doing in his business- does his marketing need fine-tuning? does he need to get more clarity about what he’s doing in his business? Does he need help in getting simple things done that are the “straw that broke the camel’s back?”

Does he just need support to break the isolation he’s feeling- alone and lost?

Well, sure, all of those can, do, and will help as he walks forward. But some of the way he was talking about his business rang a bell for me, and I wondered about his relationship with his business.

His relationship with his business? Yes, “Jimmy L.”, like many, many others, didn’t have a healthy relationship with his business. He couldn’t “get my business to work.”

We talk about “my business,” “our business,” “the business,” all the time, and yet, most of us never quite make the step to conceiving the business as a separate entity. And, even those of us who have taken that step, very few of us have looked at how we are in relationship with this separate entity.

You can get a clue about your relationship with your business by paying attention to your language.

Do you talk about your business as a beloved friend, or as an unwilling servant?

With anyone, including your business, you can’t get much done if the basic relationship isn’t one of trust, love, goodwill, and cooperation, taking into account each person’s abilities, developmental stages, and presence.

When we looked at this, “Jimmy L.” saw that he was treating his business like an unloved servant, and whipping it for not performing, when in fact it needed love, attention, and caring. He immediately felt lighter with respect to his business, and he felt energy and desire to move forward come back into his body and his sense of his business.

Maybe your business needs some TLC?

———————–

The Exercise

1. Start with the remembrance. For those unfamiliar with this, it is to repeat the Name of the Divine, whatever you use to call to the Highest Light, and saying it into your heart. Not with the idea of fixing anything, or healing anything, or seeing anything. It’s just remembering that there is something more than just you in the mix. If anyone has questions about the remembrance, please ask me. It’s fairly simple, but there are easy places that people sometimes get stuck.

2. Now, ask your heart to feel the heart, or the beingness, of your business (you can substitute “job” or “project” or “organization” for “business”) as a separate entity, and bring that beingness in front of your heart. In other words, stand heart to heart, face to face with your business. Just trust your perceptions.

3. Notice how your heart reacts to your business. What kind of relationship does your heart currently have with the heart of your business? Allow yourself to discover this, and drop any notions of what you may already think this relationship is.

4. Allow yourself to ask the Divine to show you what the healthiest relationship with the heart of your business would look like, would feel like, and, most importantly, what is possible when you have this healthiest relationship?

5. Now ask what is one step that your heart tells you to take towards having this healthiest possible relationship. It could be anything- drop what you think you need to do to make the business work, and just ask what is the next step in having a healthier business? You will know it’s right because it “feels” right, and it’s something that your heart naturally wants to move towards.

6. Once you have this step, calendar it. Whatever your heart received as the next step, calendar it, and do it. Some clients have gotten to spend time every day appreciating their business. Some clients have gotten that it’s finally time to get the accounting cleaned up- that their business is “cranky” from loose accounting. It could be anything- trust what you get, and do it.

Now enjoy your business!


By Posted in Health, Spiritual Connection.

What's Your Problem?

Well, the change of season here in Portland hit me with a whopper- I was down with the flu for an entire 7 days- fevered, weak, congested, the whole bit. Another seven days of slowly getting my strength back, and I’m much better now, but it was definitely an exercise in surrender.

So, this experience brought up a wealth of learning for me, and the one I’m going to focus on is the idea of problems. As Paul Hawken said in “Growing a Business” (recommended book), that all businesses have problems, and that it’s up to you as the business owner to make sure that it has interesting problems, and not boring problems.

That said, when I look at all of the things that I wanted to get done, but couldn’t, for my upcoming workshop here in Portland the end of June, and being nine days behind in my marketing efforts, I could, and did, become very upset and frustrated. Arrghh! The problem was I got sick! The problem was I didn’t get it done earlier! The problem was there’s no time… The problem was… what WAS the problem?

Most of our efforts to help our businesses along have us focusing on situations that really aren’t the problem. Was getting sick the problem? No, I couldn’t have helped it, and spending time on this “problem” is a waste. Could I have gotten things done earlier? Well, maybe, but who could foresee getting sick? I was on schedule, and my business was working fine.

I had to sit with the whole situation. And, what I found out, when I did remembrance, with someone else helping to hold the space for me, was that the problem wasn’t any of those things. The problem was that I was acting as if there was a problem. The business actually feels fine and on track. The real “problem,” was the fear that comes up for me when I think there is a problem.

Once I sat with this fear, and brought the remembrance into it, I began to feel more confident, and clear, and then some pathways opened up. I saw that I was scared to have my business open up as big as it could be, because I was afraid I would be doing it all. As I sat with that, and surrendered more deeply, the heart of my business began to feel brighter. Then, I had a number of clear action steps that came to me. And, I had some new ideas come forth. I finally had the energy to get the right things done.

———————-

The Process

* First, the remembrance. For those unfamiliar with this, it’s merely repeating the Name of the Divine, whatever you use to call to the Highest Light, and saying it into your heart. Not with the idea of fixing anything, or healing anything, or seeing anything. It’s just remembering that there is something more than just you in the mix. If anyone has questions about the remembrance, please ask me. It’s fairly simple, but there are easy places that people sometimes get stuck.

* Identify the seeming problem that you’ve been working on, fretting on, trying get through or fix. Feel this problem. Let yourself perceive it. Let yourself feel the emotions involved with the problem- anger? fear? sadness? frustration? All of the above? Something else? Let yourself feel these emotions.

* Then, bringing the remembrance in, let yourself ask in your heart, what is the real problem? What is really going on here? It’s important to let yourself be in a place of not knowing, a willingness to be surprised, and to see something new.

* Sit with it until you feel some clarity about what the real issue or problem is. This may take one minute, 10 minutes, or 30 minutes. However long it takes, it’s less than spending hours working on the wrong problem. Maybe there isn’t a problem. Maybe there’s something else. Let yourself be with it. This is where it’s helpful, but not necessary, to have someone else sitting with you to help hold the space.

* Once the clarity comes in, accept it. Sit with the remembrance some more, and see if there is some wisdom or action steps that pop up for you around it. Write these down, and see if your heart has energy for these action steps. If they feel overwhelming, or exhausting, they may still be your mind trying to figure things out. Let those ideas go, and wait to see if you receive something that feels really right.

So, give it a shot, and let me know how it goes. And don’t be afraid to print this out, and get a friend or associate to sit with you while you do this- doing it by yourself is sometimes challenging, especially if the emotions involved create agitation, that makes it hard to sit still by yourself.


By Posted in Business Relationships, Spiritual Connection.

When Helping Isn't Helping

I have recently finished a great course in group energetics, taught by the fabulous Sheron Fruehauf of Lionheart Consulting (you can check them out on my resources page). I want to talk about a particular bit from the class, because it applies to the world, and it applies to our businesses.

What Sheron explained is that sometimes someone in a group becomes the magnetic pole for a certain issue, for instance let’s say helplessness and victimhood, and they end up carrying that energy, as a magnet, for everyone in the group. If everyone owns their own piece, it helps to move the group forward, and heal our wounds of separation. If we don’t, drama erupts, or the person is pushed out.

What this looked like in one of my money teleconference classes recently, was someone had a very distressing situation in their life financially, and she was crying, so upset she could barely speak. In the silence on the line I could feel myself wanting to help her, and Sheron’s teaching struck me- all of us on the call weren’t allowing ourselves to feel the part of us that felt as helpless as this woman did, and this was creating an emotional and energetic pressure cooker.

I asked everyone, including me, to just stop, to feel our own helplessness and scarcity in ourselves, and to make room for it, to own it, and then immediately- IMMEDIATELY- the woman who had been this energetic pole stopped crying, reported that she had an immediate sense of relief and spaciousness, and could then go on to talk about her situation and we, as a group, could discover some wisdom in the situation.

I have since used this repeatedly in other groups and have found it to work every single time. When everyone in the group can come into some sense of responsibility, the person who is the magnetic pole in that moment (it rotates in a healthy group) experiences relief, and the whole group learns and grows.

In your business, are you, in trying to help your clients, or your business, unconsciously pushing and disowning the feelings that are being a mirror to you? In our world, are we pushing away and disowning any feelings that are contributing in some way to what is happening in Iraq?

In responding to these situations:

• Notice what feelings are really going on for you deep within.

• Make space for them, receive them, open your heart to whatever feelings of rage, helplessness, fear, despair, are really going on for you.

• If it’s a small group, or an immediate situation, look and see what is happening.

• If it’s a large group, or a world event, ask the Divine in your heart for some feedback on how this is contributing to peace, resolution, and movement in the world.


By Posted in Business Relationships, Outside the Lines.

New Year's Resolution

Some time ago, I found myself apologizing to a 12 year-old boy, I’ll call him Mike. Here’s the story: his mom (a colleague of mine) had hosted me and my workshop in her town, and after the workshop she and I went out to dinner with her two kids. At one point we were talking about how touched we were by some of the issues brought up by one of the participants.

Naturally enough, Mike piped up “What are you talking about?” At first, we clumsily said, “Nothing.” He pressed us, “I really want to know.” I finally answered, “We want to respect the people in the workshop and so can’t really tell you.” Which was true enough, and, in the moment, I felt it was honest and direct and respectful. He started acting out after that, going around the restaurant, causing a middlin’ amount of havoc like a 12 year-old boy can do.

The next morning it was still bothering me, so I really sat with it in my heart, until the insight came: we hadn’t been polite and respectful of Mike, or, really, of the participants, at dinner that night, by talking about it in front of him without any intention of including him in the conversation. And that I needed to apologize to him. Immediately after this insight came in, a wave of relief and a feeling of spaciousness and release came into my body, and I promptly went up and apologized to him.

When we fall out of our integrity, (integrity meaning “the quality or condition of being whole or undivided” American Heritage Dictionary), we lose a part of ourselves, and we carry the lack of integrity with us until it is resolved.

It does not have to be a huge big fat lie or double dealing, it can be something as simple as what happened above- an every day scene. I’m thankful that Mike acted out, because it made the whole thing stick with me in a conscious way, whereas if he hadn’t, maybe it would have just been a minor feeling of “something’s not quite right,” that I could have ignored for a long time.

The kicker: “could have ignored it for a long time.”

Until I dealt with it, I would have carried it with me, and these little integrity lapses, minor as they are, collect, stew, and simmer, and build up until they blow up in what can be a big way.

Do you have the equivalent of a 12 year-old boy acting up in your business or life somewhere? Maybe that person or situation is doing you the kind favor of pointing out an integrity lapse, something that can eventually do big damage to your business. Just to “decide” to change your behavior is what I call New Year’s Resolution Syndrome- and we know how successful that is.

Here’s how I handle it:

1. First, notice that something feels “off,” or is just plain wrong. You might not have any idea of what it is, or you might have stories and ideas about what it is, but the offness still doesn’t go away- that’s your clue that you don’t really know what’s going on. Stop trying to solve it, and let yourself feel it.

2. In your sincerity to want to change the situation, find your willingness to see where you have full responsibility.

3. Focus on the physical location of the feeling of “offness.” Maybe your stomach has a sinking feeling, maybe your shoulders are tight. As you accept responsibility, began to apologize to the Divine, repeating the Remembrance and your apology into the discomfort, along with the willingness to be shown what happened.

4. When the insight comes in, follow through! Even though I had received relief when the insight came in, I knew I had to actually follow through and apologize to Mike, or I would have been out of integrity again.

This is sometimes called “repentance,” in some ancient spiritual traditions. What I’ve noticed from this process, instead of trying to forever change behavior or fix things from the stuck place (the New Year’s Resolution Syndrome), is that the insights and relief gained through this process helps to clean out old patterns of being so that it’s no longer possible to go back to the old ways of doing things.

Try it- you, your business, and the Mikes in your life, will be much happier and more effective.


By Posted in Business Relationships, Infrastructure & Systems.

What Isn't Working

So, What Isn’t Working? I know from my own experience that denial and magical thinking are very strong tendencies in business. Take me, for example. In my typical “go for broke” habit, I can do both denial and magical thinking at the same time: I’ll never forget the moment of clarity when I realized that the marketing I was (crazily) doing wasn’t working, and I kept telling myself that things were just about to change, even though I struggled that way for a year.

How fun. Now, it’s true, you can’t judge a marketing effort in the first week, month, or even three months- it takes time to build up steam. But after a year, it was time to wake up.

The most expensive thing in your business is not your mistakes, it’s not FACING your mistakes. And yet, never losing faith in the mission you are on.

Two quick stories to illustrate this: The first one many of you may have heard, it’s called the Stockdale Principale. Admiral Stockdale was the highest ranking US military officer held as a POW during the Vietnam War. He held on for years, and helped the other prisoners hang on to their morale through that time. What he said about it was, and if I’m not quoting exactly, please forgive me, “You know who didn’t make it? The optimists. The ones who kept saying ‘We’re going to be home by Christmas.’ And then Christmas would come and we weren’t home. It breaks your heart. I kept saying, ‘We’re going to get home, but it won’t be by Christmas.’ ” (This story is told in Good to Great by Jim Collins- highly recommended.)

This to me illustrates, in the most extreme way, (hopefully your business doesn’t feel like you’re in a POW prison), that you keep your eye on the goal, but don’t get attached to what it looks like.

The second story is this: in Australia, two police officers were tape-recorded by reporters insulting an Aboriginal person, and then printed it in the newspaper. Huge political blowup. The Minister of Justice wanted told the police chief to be careful about what he said to the press, and to fire the two officers. Instead, the police chief said “I must tell the truth, and the truth is this: those two policemen are not an exception. The rest of the police could have done the same. But I will tell you more. The rest of the population of my region of Australia could have done the same as well. We are becoming racists.”

Fallout was huge, but in the end, because the truth was in the light of day, it was the Minister of Justice who was fired, and the police in that area became the best in Australia. (related in a past issue of Yes Magazine, by Marc Luyckx. Highly recommended magazine.)

In our spiritual journey in business, the ugly truths of our lives can be the hardest things to face, and yet, that is where the biggest opportunity for growth is found, both in our soul, and in our bottom line.

In my own story of denial and magical thinking, I finally got the perspective, and stopped taking coaching from someone who wasn’t helping me, listened to my own heart, stopped beating myself up, and launched myself in a completely different path. The result- my business doubled, and I was happier. And the deep satisfaction was that I was able to find truly what my heart was wanting to do in my work, and that has made all the difference.

Take the time to do, as the twelve-steppers put it, “a fearless inventory,” of your business. Let yourself look at everything in the light of your heart, and in the light of day. What needs to be done, or not done, will emerge naturally, but not if you don’t take the time to look.


By Posted in Infrastructure & Systems, Sales & Conversion.

Giving It Away, and Changing Horses

This eZine has two levels of learning in it, just for fun. Predictably, I’ll start with the first, which I think is incredibly useful, then get to the second, which is the really powerful one.

First learning: I’ve been rethinking an idea I’ve held for awhile, that giving it away for free doesn’t work.

There were plenty of good reasons I had for believing in that idea: That many of us in business can be doormats for the customer, that giving it away means you are attracting people who won’t ever want to pay for it, that you aren’t valuing your work. All valid reasons, and all true to some extent.

However, one of my clients described a video he saw of how someone built a successful massage business very quickly, and did it by three simple rules:

1) Give it away
2) Ask for help (referrals)
3) Reward help you receive. (discounts, gifts, etc.)

(I will find out the name of the video, and hopefully where you can get it and include it in my next email).

My own experience in giving it away proves to me they work- and here’s why.

1) Giving as a policy:

However, he didn’t just give it away, he contained how he gave it away. Meaning, he created a policy in his business of giving away a certain number of massages a week- more in the beginning, less later on when he was busier, but never abandoning it. He made the giving away work for him, and when he reached his limit- his policy was satisfied that week, he stopped.

You do your business because you are passionate about what you offer, and about helping people with what you offer, at least I hope you are. If not, let’s talk and get you into your passion. Never abandon that caring focus, and never get stingy with your business, or your business will get stingy with you.

2) Asking is helping:

Asking for help is the big key that makes the giving away work. People are most satisfied, most fulfilled when they are able to help- this is a deep spiritual truth about our beings. We want to help. You’re in business, if you don’t ask for help, for referrals, people will assume you are doing fine. Let yourself be in your heart so you can let go of any “front” you have up about needing to “look successful,” or be other than exactly who you are and how you are doing.

On the other hand, if you do ask for help, people will not only feel good to be able to help, and know that there is a specific way they can help, they won’t feel like a charity case from receiving whatever you gave away to them. Because people feel most fulfilled when helping, the other side of that is feeling horrible and disempowered when you make a charity case of them.

3) Rewarding completes the circle:

Finally, rewarding any help you get- discounts for referrals, etc. This helps your helper feel fully seen and appreciated, it makes them feel good, that they did something of real value, gave real help. Which they did.

This is a natural extension of the teaching I have given on marketing as a gift, so run with it!

Second learning, the big one: The real lesson here is not just a framework for your marketing.

The real lesson is: Don’t become attached to ideas.

What has enabled my heart to grow, and my business with it, is that I don’t let myself get stuck in ideas. When the horse you are on is tired out, change horses. It’s better for you and the horse.

How do you let go? Saying “No,” to something can be scary, and requires a strength and fortitude to let everything turn upside down as the change happens. More on the “No” in a future email.

Your heart is the judge- your heart knows when something is wrong, or is just finished. Abandon allegiances to ideas. Only keep an allegiance to your heart, the heart of your business, and the Heart of the Divine.

I have created a department in my business. It’s called the Department of Gardening. It’s function is to evaluate the efficacy of all of my business systems and ideas, gathering the truths and facts in my business, and creativity and innovation. It’s where I do the weeding, so the true flowers can bloom, and bear fruit. Give this to yourself, to your business.


By Posted in Spiritual Connection.

Growing Bigger

A question that has come up recently in several different contexts is the transition from small to big- whether it’s a transition from a sole-proprietorship to a larger business, or whether it’s a transition from a smaller organization, into a larger flourishing organization.

This transition is much more critical than the initial launch. I’ve recently seen two organizations fold at this juncture, and there are two more I’m watching now who are on the brink, one I’m optimistic about, the other seems like it’s teetering very precariously.

In the initial creation of the business, you were excited about what you were creating, and it was coming from thin air, directly from your heart into your hands. With this transition, you have to let go of the way things were before to let the new form take place. And I don’t know about you, but I can certainly struggle with letting go.

And all of this needs to happen without losing sight of the original essence you came to give.

I’ll give you an example of what losing the essence can do. One organization I know, a non-profit based in a spiritual tradition, wanted to become more professional. They did this, but they abandoned to a large extent the core values of their spiritual tradition that allowed them to flourish in the first place. In fact, they hired a chief executive for “professional expertise,” who doesn’t share their spiritual practices.

End result? Complete staff and board disaffection, major donors speaking out against the group, and probably complete dissolution of the organization. This is an extreme version of what we all go through- the battle between mind and heart.

Your heart can hold everything your mind can, but your mind cannot fathom the depths of your heart.

Do not follow your mind, let your mind follow, and bring definition and detail to, what your heart creates.

To do (this comes in part from The E-Myth, by Michael Gerber): Identifying all the parts of your business as if they were separate job positions. This will not only help you in a sole-proprietorship so that you don’t drop the ball on any individual client, but it will help you delegate out particular tasks to others when the time comes.

This is not just a list of to-do’s and descriptions.  What I want you to remember is that each system, each task be, in the words of Harriett, my own coach, “in your particular context.”  Feel your essence, and how your essence wants to be expressed in every task, whether it’s accounting or marketing. Your product or service is not produced with a cookie cutter (apologies to the bakers out there :-) ), don’t let your systems be produced by one either.

If you would like support in this process, don’t hesitate to call. I have helped many entrepreneurs discern their essence, and then to express it in all aspects of their business.

I want to make a pitch for spiritual business community. My heart is in entrepreneurialism, whether non-profit or for-profit. One of the disadvantages about this is that we don’t have an organization that we are a part of, that helps provide structure, and water-cooler chats that help to propel things forward.

This is why I’ve begun the Heart of Business Support Group. We come together as a group once a month in Portland, to focus on practical ways, rooted in the heart and our connection to the Divine, to move our businesses forward. Then, each member also has one or two individual sessions with me to go deep into your particulars. Finally, each group member also has a “buddy” that changes each month, someone to check-in with and feel supported by, so that a complete web of cooperative support is created between us all.

If you are long-distance, let me know if you are interested in this idea, because I will start a conference call version of the group.


By Posted in Outside the Lines, Spiritual Connection.

Politeness in Business

One of the things my wife Holly and I like to do in the evening is to read to each other. Recently, we’ve been reading Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey/Maturin series, historical novels set around 1800, which follow the career of a captain in the British Royal Navy. Now, there are a number of reasons why the books are wonderful to read, but what I’ve been noticing recently are the elaborate manners and politenesses that helped guide day-to-day living then.

Today, politeness almost has a negative connotation, of being a false veneer, or stiff and formal. Fake. We’ve become so fixated on “speaking our truth,” or “being authentic,” that we’ve lost sight of politeness, in many instances.

What I’ve noticed is that my immediate “truth” is often a voice in my head that is in reaction to some circumstance, and often holds judgement and defensiveness. Just the other day, someone asked me how I had felt about a meeting, and, despite a slight warning from my internal guidance system that I ignored until afterwards, I told him about how certain aspects of the meeting had bothered me.

One of the most important teachings I’ve received from my teachers is not to break any hearts- the Golden Rule.

This meeting had been full of enthusiasm and good will on the part of the participants, and I had had a personal reaction to some surface personality stuff- all my own reactions to work through- no one had done anything wrong. And yet, my “need” to speak ended up being blaming and judgmental.

On the surface, being polite means treating people with respect and care. On the deeper level, as my teacher writes, politeness means: “When you speak, when you walk in the street, when you hear any voice, from anywhere, know this is not the voice of the person, but it is the Voice of God that is speaking.”

On a practical level, manners and the forms of politeness give you a structure to rest into, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” This does not mean you never say anything strong to anyone. It means that if you are feeling unclear, upset, in reaction, then be polite. Don’t say anything to whom you are reacting, and give yourself time to get clear in your heart about what is really going on.

In terms of results, being judgmental and “truthful” does not get you what you want anyway. It just creates defensiveness on the part of your target.

Once you are clear in your heart, it will become apparent what to say. I didn’t need to say anything about my personal reaction to the meeting. What I did need to do was to approach one person, and ask them if they felt I heard them, and, if not, to listen more clearly to what they were saying. Instead of shutting this person down, I will instead benefit from their experience and knowledge. Which course helps my business more?

Everyone is the Face of God, and the Divine is trying to give to you in everything. Politeness helps you to receive everything you are being given.


By Posted in 3 Journeys of Marketing, Business Relationships, Outside the Lines.

Launch!

First, a bit of news, and then the punch.

My website is finally up and running!

There are plenty of tweaks I want to do to it, and continual editing and playing of course, but, in essence I am very, very happy with it. I invite everyone to check it out, and give me feedback- is it easy to get around, is it useful, do you like it?

Ever since last August, when I first reserved the domain name, I’ve been wanting to get my web site up. I had tried several times, with pitiful results.

And my marketing had been dragging because of it. Oh, I would market, all right, but there was a piece of me holding back because I wanted to have my web site up and running. It was agonizing, really, in the subtle way. And, on top of it, I was getting the old one-two from a couple of voices in my head. One, I really should have already had the web site up, already, already, you know? (How painful is that internal voice?) And two, why was I feeling so bad about not having a web site up- I’m bad for feeling bad.

Well, most of you know that I believe in feeling what is, but just look at that gap between belief and experience.

(the punch–>) Then something happened. A piece that I had worked on two years ago for a little bit, came back to me with greater depth: my business has its own separate being-ness. When that really sank into my heart, I took time to look into the heart of my business, and, with the help of a fellow healer, we mapped out my business as a body, and identified parts as organs, and where it was healthy and where it wasn’t. Out of this came three things:

1. A deep clarity about my message and what I was about. It’s not about using spirituality to make your business work, it’s about using your business to deepen your relationship with the Divine.

2. Bringing a loving, healing approach to my business, replacing the unconscious need to “whip it into shape.” My business, and yours, needs care and attention and love whether it’s healthy or sick, or just so-so.

3. A clear path: what needs to be done, how, and when.

Results: new clients, a web site finished in a week and half, and… our housing search ended- if the inspections go through this week (and they should) my wife and I found our dream house, in the perfect neighborhood (new contact info to follow later.)

One of my teachers said to me recently: “Give to take, Mark.” Focus on the giving- and not just giving through your business, but giving to your business. Spend time to find out what it needs, and give to it, as you would give to a friend. And be specific.

The business-as-body is an amazing healing session- contact me if you want one.