It’s true. Most people dream that once the business brings in more revenue, the worry stops. But after working with clients at all different levels of income, I can tell you it doesn’t work like that. Almost everyone deals with horrible, sinking feelings in their stomach.

Instead of just outearning the money grumblies, which tend to grow as fast as you feed them, I recommend facing them.

Here’s a Question I Want You to Answer Honestly

How much time do you spend each week with your finances?

If you are like most small business owners, the answer is probably somewhere between zero and, “I had to spend 30 minutes paying the bills–thank God that’s over with.”

So let’s just say that you have someone you love very much, maybe you are married to him or her. And then let’s say you spent somewhere between zero and “I had to spend 30 minutes kissing up to her, so she wouldn’t feel neglected. Thank God, that’s over with.”

Are you seeing the same pattern I’m seeing?

Most schools don’t require any kind of financial fitness class, and so it’s no surprise that most people are uncomfortable (terrified, to be more honest) to spend more than the absolute minimum time required to keep from getting the electricity turned off and the car repossessed.

If you are serious about having a healthy relationship with your finances, I want to recommend that you start to spend some quality time with your numbers.

Whoa! Before you panic and <click away> from this article out of self-preservation, I’m not talking about becoming an accountant.

I know it can look intimidating, even for accountants. I had two certified accountants in a Heart of Money class, and getting this intimate with their own finances made them both extremely uncomfortable.

But it also brought up healing, comfort, and abundance breakthroughs for everyone, including them.

There is a full-blown, finance-clearing exercise in the Heart of Money class called “Being Polite with Money.” But I’m going to teach you the stripped-down version that my wife and I use every week: The Kitchen Table Financial Summit, a.k.a. “The Money Meeting.”

First Thing You Need to Do Is Schedule It

Schedule it at a time when you aren’t already exhausted. And, schedule twice as much time as you think you’ll need, at least until you get used to it.

Second Step–What do you have?

Go through your accounts (you do have a separate business and personal account, right?). Find out how much is in checking, and which checks or charges haven’t been processed yet. Make note of how much is in savings for each account. I also track my expected revenue–both certain revenue (from pre-existing contracts), and potential revenue (from upcoming classes, or potential clients that are close to a decision point.)

Third Step–What do you owe?

It’s a fairly good bet that most of your bills are the same amount each month, or close enough. If you have a cash flow problem, you track how much the bill is for, and when the due date is.

Fourth step–Face it all

If you have plenty of money to pay your bills, sit in your heart and feel what that feels like. It might feel great. And… you might be surprised. Many people unconsciously create leaks to overspend “extra” money until they come back down to zero. You might want to read the article I wrote on getting to “extra” in your profitability.

If you don’t have enough to pay your bills, face how that feels, too. Make space in your heart for any anger, despair, or helplessness that you feel.

My wife and I have at least one of these meetings every week, to spend quality, honest time with our finances. How else are you going to get a handle on it?

Read some practical points on how to hold a “Kitchen Table Finance Summit” below. I also include a special pdf example of what we write up for the meeting.

Keys to Holding a Kitchen Table Financial Summit

• The healing is in the combination of the numbers and the emotions. That’s why you want to give time to the meeting. It takes time to figure out what the numbers really are. It also takes time to be with your emotions. If you are scared, sad, angry, you need to give space to those emotions. Use your heart to make space for them. My free workbook has a great practice for accessing those emotions and moving through them.

• If possible, find a partner to do this with you. I can’t overestimate the value of nonjudgmental support. My wife helps me. You could easily do this with a business partner. Or find a friend or colleague you trust. and help support each other through these meetings. Each person can take responsibility for one aspect–either totaling the accounts, or tracking the bills.

• Don’t balk at the time commitment. It will take a fair amount of time in the beginning. But once you get in the groove, you will find your meetings flowing more smoothly. I mean, you want to have a better relationship with your finances, right? Spend the quality time with it, and you will have it, I promise.

Download this pdf for a fictitious example of the two sheets–accounts and bills–that we fill out for our money meetings. Click here.

p.s. Only a handful of spots left in The Heart of Money Transformational Journey

So, you sit down to have a Kitchen Table Financial Summit, and instead of biting into your finances, you bite off your partner’s head. Oops. Ouch.

Family harmony is just one of the several reasons you may want to take The Heart of Money Transformational Journey. Can you imagine sitting down with your partner and not getting triggered over the bills? Being able to have a real, honest, compassionate conversation about money?

Or, forget about a partner, how about just being able to face your finances in the eye, and feel calm and grounded instead of freaked out and upset?

The Heart of Money Transformational Journey, because if money issues are banging up your heart, then you can be sure they are also affecting your marketing and business.

We started out May 1st, 2009 with 80 spots open. By May 18, we had 42 spots left. Then, in the last 5 days, almost all of them are taken. As I write this, only 8 spots are left.

Yes, there is an early-bird deadline June 1st, when the price goes up two hundred dollars. But, I’m not sure there will be any left by then.

If it’s in your heart, check it out now.

Do you make time to be with your finances? What’s your experience, opinion, or question about how to handle the money grumblies? Let’s discuss in the comments…

It came up in the context of paying yourself first. I had told them that you have to pay yourself first, into a savings account or other account, before you paid your bills.

“How in the heck can I pay myself first, when it feels like I don’t have anything left over after my expenses are paid?”

Listen to that question: it just revealed a very important Divine law. The reason there isn’t ever any extra, is because the concept of “extra” is a human idea, and doesn’t exist anywhere except in our minds.

Look around you. Is there “extra” in nature? An apple falls from the tree, never picked by anyone. Is it “extra?” Nope. Whether it’s by you or by Adam, by a worm or by microorganisms, the entirety of it will go to nourish something else. And, each of those eaters will, in turn, nourish something either through their actions, or eventually through their decomposition.

I’m not trying to be gross, it’s just true. If you want to have “extra” in your business, I suggest you forget about it. Instead, focus on how you want to serve- not just your customers, but your family, yourself, your neighbors. By coming into service, even into serving yourself, suddenly there is a reason for “extra.”

Okay, so the first step is to move your need for resources from the “someday when I have extra” column, into the “necessary resources to serve,” column. But, you aren’t done yet.

Simply using your head, or your own wishful thinking, to move a desire for a shiny black Lexus from one column to the other doesn’t make it so.

Critical ingredients in service are humility, surrender, and generosity. Most of the time when we are needing “extra” we are on the edge of, or deep into, fear and panic. Not very conducive to being generous or humble.

I’ve seen a lot of people make a lot of effort to produce material goods from sheer will power, whether that’s working 24 hours a day, or whether it’s saying 1000 affirmations a day. Either way, if your heart isn’t already in generosity and service, there is a quality of trying to bludgeon reality into changing.

Exhausting and usually ineffective. And, when it IS effective, not very satisfying.

Take a breath. Relax a little. And, bring your heart into gratitude and humility before looking at what “extras” you need. Take some time to be in relationship with your goals, and see if they truly feed your heart, or if they are things you are chasing after because you think they will “fix” something about you or about the world.

I have found, on more than one occasion, that when my wife and I have one of our weekly money meetings, the income and expenses match up, bizarrely, often within $10 of each other. And, this was true before we set aside savings and other goals, and afterwards. And, many of my clients have reported the same phenomenon.

When you find the truly nourishing desires, plan them into your necessities. You’ll find that the resources will show up to support them, either because you’ll suddenly see what needs to be done to achieve them. Or, sometimes, miracles occur. You do believe in miracles, don’t you?

Keys to Creating “Extra” Profit

• Surrender is key. Surrender in this situation means accepting what is, as much as it means letting go of your attachment to what might be in the future. If your hand is balled up inside the cookie jar, you can’t pull it out.

Take a moment right now with your business. Drop your desires to make it different than it is. Breathe into your heart, and notice what is going on with your business. What does your heart really show you about what’s happening right now? See if you can allow your heart to show the gifts that are already here in your business, and to feel genuine gratitude for what is.

• Desire is never wrong, just sometimes unfulfilling. What are you wanting that has been in your “extra” column? A new computer and software? A new desk? A big vacation? Take some time and face this thing that you are wanting. Be honest and gentle with yourself as you ask your heart to show you how fulfilling this thing really is. Be truthful.

Note: Just because something feels or doesn’t feel fulfilling right now, doesn’t mean it will stay that way. You might be longing for a new computer, and then realize that you heart shows you that it’s not a true necessity in the moment, but that if you check in again in a couple of months, the timing might be right.

• Be an adult with your desires. Being an adult means that you can have an extra cookie after dinner, or before breakfast, if you want. But being an adult also means that you can be aware of the consequences of your choices. Sometimes goals come in miraculously. Sometimes they take meticulous planning and discipline.

What is your business teaching you about your desires? Is your heart asking you to learn to trust in the miraculous a little more? Or is it asking you to come into the next level of responsibility by bringing in some compassionate, graceful discipline in working towards your goals.

There is no cookie-cutter here, you have to take the time to listen to your heart to get true answers. But if you do, you still get the delicious cookies, even if they are free-form.