So, without further ado, here’s my first public attempt at a Heart of Business video. Be gentle. I promise I’ll blink more next time…

Her question:
I wrote you a couple of months ago asking for your thoughts on how to keep a business thriving while simultaneously being a caregiver. (My husband has mid-stage Alzheimer’s Disease.)
The caregiving doesn’t take much physical energy on my part at this point, but it does take a lot of psychic energy, which I find drains what I can apply to my business. It’s also, of course, depressing, and it’s sometimes difficult to surmount that.

Oy! I realized the reason I hadn’t responded was because there is no simple answer. I’ve grappled with a similar question myself as a business owner and caregiver.

My wife Holly was sick for ten years. Really sick. Chronically sick with Lyme disease–a debilitating illness that Western medicine has nothing more to offer but REALLY high doses, and an often ineffectual treatment, of antibiotics.

It was a long, long recovery process, one that I never thought would end. Although she still has to be very careful with her diet and her health, she’s now a fully functioning mom of soon-to-be toddlers and keeping up!

Although she didn’t require the level of care taking that I know people with Alzheimer’s need, there were many, many, many times when I was caught up in helping her when she couldn’t help herself.

What Happened?

We had a very small life–no camping, no hiking, no biking, no real adventures, and kids were out of the question during that time.

I was exhausted. I was annoyed. I was frustrated. I was patient. I did my best. I worked really hard to keep money coming in. Even so, early on, when Holly was the sickest, we had to file for medically-induced bankruptcy.

Thankfully, painful experiences fade with time, and so I don’t remember many of the details. I do remember how guilty and sad I would feel doing the few things on my own that I could. Guilty because I knew she would have loved to have been out on her bike, or hiking, or whatever with me. And sad because I didn’t really want to be doing them alone. I married Holly because I wanted to be with her, like, all the time.

It Was a Three-Way Relationship

Although I’m not into non-monogamy (been there, done that, for me waaaaayyyy too much work, too easy to avoid intimacy, and very little payoff), our marriage became a three-way relationship: Mark, Holly, and Lyme Disease.

There were so many times that she tried some new treatment, so many times we thought health was “just around the corner” and wasn’t that eventually I just lost hope. I gave up. I figured, this is our life, I have to accept it. I just couldn’t handle the roller coaster of Hope then Hope Dashed, over and over again.

The Turning Point

Well, I think it’s important to note that the business took a big jump in 2005, then another big jump in 2006. This was about three years after we moved to Portland, Oregon so Holly could be treated by Heiner Freuhauf, a world-renowned master of Chinese medicine whom we met through our Sufi training.

It ended up taking many more approaches then just working with Heiner.  There have been so many pieces to my wife’s healing, layers and layers and layers. At one point we were spending about $1000 out of pocket every month for alternative health care. Thank God Heart of Business was doing well enough to sustain those expenses. Over time as her health began to return, I was able to put more time and attention toward the business.

Looking back, I imagine things might have moved more quickly if she and I had been totally healthy and in our prime.

Though, maybe they wouldn’t have. I learned so much, and gained so much patience, perseverance, and insight into healing by accompanying her on her path that I’m thinking Heart of Business wouldn’t be the same without that experience, and perhaps not as successful.

So… How Did I Create a Successful Business in the Midst of All That?

I don’t really know how the hell I did it. Through a lot of help, prayer, and the grace of God. A LOT of prayer. A lot of prayer. Lots of prayer. And I have to admit that a dose of workaholic tendencies to drown the pain helped too.

Oh, and denial. I would go into periods of denial about how sick Holly really was, allowing me to focus on other things instead of worrying and caretaking constantly.

There are no simple answers to handling, to holding a business and a loved one’s ongoing and consuming need for care. I wish there were.

And, we got lucky. Heart of Business has been very successful and continues to grow. Holly got her health back. If neither of those things had happened, we might be deep in debt and still struggling.

My Advice Runs Contrary to the Common Run

Here’s what I would say when faced with running a business and being a primary caretaker for a loved one:

• Don’t be Afraid of Denial

Denial is a wonderful gift. Actually, in some situations, it can become what Sufis refer to as “compassionate veiling”–a time when God takes something from our awareness and hides it from us for our own good. That hiding can be so soothing, healing, and nourishing. Don’t worry, in a situation like this one, the awareness will come back.

And when the awareness does come back, you’ll feel scared, and cry, and rage, and all of that. It’s okay. It’s part of it. Oy.

• Pray a Lot–And Then Some

My spiritual connection really saved my butt. It wasn’t about holiness and pureness and drifting clouds and angels and yadadada…

Let me tell you, prayer is what worked for me when I was in the depths of doubt and fear and pain and loneliness. When our debt kept climbing, and the next great healing thing that we had just spent I don’t know how much money on didn’t totally work the way we expected.

To have access to peace and love and rest and comfort in the middle of that, no matter the circumstances, was such a saving grace. I am so deeply grateful for what I’ve learned through the Sufi practices because of the access they’ve given me to the depths of my heart.

There’s a Sufi saint, Rabi’a of Basra, who came into such deep connection with Oneness that she didn’t want any more than the rock she had for a pillow. Seriously, a rock for a pillow, and she was happy.

I’ve never celebrated resting my head on a rock, but this whole trip has driven deep the idea that happiness has absolutely nothing to do with outside circumstances and everything to do with my connection to Source.

• Invest in Learning

Heart of Business was born in the middle of my training in Sufi healing. And after graduating, I continued to spend money on my education, often creating debt, so that we could keep growing the business.

Holly would often have to beat me over the head to get me to do it. “But, we don’t have the money!” I would argue. “And if you don’t get the help to develop this business, we’re screwed,” she would answer.

She was always right. Led by prayer and guidance, I got the help. I paid for multiple healing sessions for myself. I took classes. I bought information and books. I read and learned voraciously. And I kept applying it bit by bit.

In the end, there’s no magical solution. But indulging in denial through the compassionate veiling, praying a whole heckuva lot, and continuing to get help both for yourself as a caretaker and for your business development makes a big difference.

If this is your situation, I don’t know how your story will turn out. Heck, I don’t know how my story will turn out. But at the heart of everything, there is always Love available. So don’t give in to despair.

As the Sufis say, “The point is not to drink until your thirst is quenched. The point is to develop the perfect thirst, so that you never stop drinking.” This whole experience has developed an incredible thirst in me for the Love, and I pray that I never lose it.

It’s no wonder he thought this–all the messages coming at us from popular culture tell us that if we’re not doing what we’re supposed to be doing, we’re lazy.

I’m Going to Tell You Right Now, I Don’t Believe in Lazy

What is laziness? Back to my well-thumbed American Heritage Dictionary: “Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.”

Okay, I accept the first part of the definition: “resistant.” But NOT disposed to idleness. How many people in business do you know who are disposed to idleness? Out of the hundreds of people I’ve worked with, I haven’t seen anyone prefer to sit around all day, for days on end, with their hands in their back pocket.

Sure, maybe you are working on ineffective things. Or are paralyzed because of indecision. But lazy…? I don’t think so.

If You Think You’re Lazy, Do Nothing for One Week

Nothing. Don’t clean the house. Don’t make any phone calls. Don’t surreptitiously work on your marketing. Don’t even think about any of this. If you can do this for one week, even then you aren’t lazy, you’re probably just enlightened.

Okay, so what is this thing that we call “lazy”? It’s resistance. So if we’re resistant, especially if we’re unconsciously resistant, it’s probably a good idea to find out why.

In every case, when I’ve looked at the situation for myself or a client, the resistance was a healthy (healthy!) stopping point, because our beings didn’t want to move forward and jump over a necessary step.

Remember my new client who thought he was lazy? When we looked, we saw a crucial self-care issue that he had been unconsciously trying to jump over. If he had actually moved forward into action without dealing with this self-care piece, he would have perhaps gotten those tasks done, but at the cost of burning-out and disconnected from his heart.

If you are calling yourself lazy, I think it’s time to acknowledge your resistance as healthy, and see what your heart doesn’t want you to miss.

Keys to Lazy

• Many issues of laziness actually have to do with forgotten self-care issues.

While you aren’t getting something done, feeling more and more frantic or judgmental about it, you are probably also feeling depleted. Notice the depletion–what do you need to care for yourself?

No, I’m not necessarily talking about a week’s vacation or a dozen chocolate cookies (although that might be a part of it.) Rather I’m thinking your heart is needing some acknowledgment, some love and acceptance,that you’re not bad or wrong for not having done it yet.

And is there some jewel forgotten at your feet that you’ve missed, that your heart is asking you to pick up before moving forward? Take a few moments with your heart and ask, “What am I needing to recognize, pick up, or accept before moving forward with this?”

What does your heart say?

• Try breaking it down.

Whatever it is that you aren’t getting to, perhaps in reality it’s more than one thing. For instance, that bookkeeping task you’ve been meaning to get to, it’s not just sitting down and entering the information. It’s five other tasks, including dealing with that gosh-darned accounting program that doesn’t make any sense. Or it means acknowledging a debt you owe that you’ve been perhaps uncomfortable to look in the eye.

Ahhh! That’s what was stopping the email–you aren’t lazy, you are uncomfortable dealing with the software or the debt. Make space in your heart, and face the discomfort.

What is your heart needing here in order to face this issue?

Laziness is this blanket judgment we put on ourselves for not “just doing it.” In reality, there’s either a missing piece that we don’t want to miss, or some discomfort that we’re not yet willing to face.

Slow down, break it down, listen to your heart, and then see if it’s easier to move forward through your money, marketing, or other business projects.

From the email and flurry of comments on the blog, this state of craziness is not unknown to you, either. In fact, it may seem more normal to have too much going on than you might ordinarily prefer.

A good mixture of spiritual practices, business focus, and love and support from friends and family is usually a winning recipe. But you may be missing a critical ingredient.

Things Were Getting Decidedly Strange

I had been noticing more and more overwhelm and worry-thoughts invading my space. Strange impulses and disturbing feelings that were familiar to me from much earlier in my life. Remembrance and spiritual practice helped a bit, but not as much as normal.

And then I noticed. With Holly’s sister in town, and the attempts to feed mom-in-law whatever she would eat, our eating habits were nosediving. Comfort foods, desserts, and strange eating times took over our life.

Plus, between the twins and family, my wife and I couldn’t connect with each other as we normally do. Instead of connection, I was eating. Eating all kinds of stuff, eating often and too much.

And my worry and fear went through the roof. Thankfully, in my spiritual practices, this one Sufi teaching kept popping up in my face over and over again.

The Most Dangerous Thing To Fill

The Sufi take on food is: don’t eat much. George Burns, the comedian who lived 100 years had the same philosophy of eating whatever he wanted, but only eating half of what was on the plate.

My Sufi sheikh has told us, “The most dangerous thing to fill is your stomach.” It may not be an obvious connection, but I’ve observed over the past nine years of spiritual work that what I eat directly affects my well being and effectiveness.

More from my sheikh: “Sufis do not eat except when they are hungry. And even then they do not eat to their complete satisfaction.” There is deep wisdom in this, because our sense of hunger is remarkably blunt. It can take an entire fifteen minutes from the time your stomach has enough, until the nerves let your brain know to turn off the hunger signal.

Fifteen minutes. That’s enough time to eat an entire extra meal, if you act quickly.

Our compulsions around food are very strong in this culture. Eating disorders abound, and for many of us food was and is a substitute for love and acceptance.

I’m not saying it’s easy, and for some of us, we need some real help to come into healthy relationship with food.

But if you’re struggling to be effective in your business, to be clear and grounded and open-hearted, and to overcome your fears, here’s what I’ve found helps me around food.

Keys To Eating Like An Entrepreneur

• The Rule of Thirds = A Fist Full

When you eat, remember that one third of your stomach is for food, one third is for water, and one third is for air. If you think about the actual size of your stomach, it becomes obvious that we’re talking about a fairly small amount of food that you actually need.

Here’s the rule of fist: ball your fist up, and hold it over your plate. Keep the quantity you take to the size of your fist, and no more. Eat that, and wait fifteen minutes. See if you’re really still hungry or not.

• Try Fasting From Time to Time

In every spiritual tradition I’ve studied, fasting is encouraged from time to time to help clear out the body and the spirit. In Sufism, ritual fasts are during daylight hours from sun up to sun down. Other traditions favor 25 hour fasts, or other practices.

Try picking a day and fasting. Notice your hunger. And notice the emotions and feelings that come up that would ordinarily drive you to go get something to snack on.

My experience is that in facing those feelings in a spiritually-supported ritual fast, they eventually settle out, and there is a deeper peace that I find underneath them.

Of course, do NOT fast if you’re ill or pregnant. Sufism forbids fasting in either of those cases, and it’s just plain good sense.

• Learn About Real Food

Food and diets can be very controversial, mainly because different body types need different nutrition to stay healthy. The one rule is that processed sugary food is not going to have the aliveness that you probably need to be effective in your business.

Here are two sources that have done miracles for my wife and I. You may like these, or you may like others, but even if you go to a nutritionist, find food that supports your body.

These two approaches, in combination, even though they contradict each other in parts, have brought me, my wife, and my kids an aliveness that is incredible:

Nourishing Traditions
The pH Miracle

It may be strange to contemplate your diet as a business-building strategy, but after recent events in my family, I’m reminded of the incredible role food has played in my ability to be effective, creative, and grounded in my business.

Try out eating only a fist-sized portion, try fasting, and try avoiding sugar or processed foods. Then notice your relationship to your business and all you’re trying to do. You may be very surprised by what happens.

That would just be the beginning of my self-employed day. . . How heavy it can get when you, alone, carry the burden of your business on two shoulders, yours? How big are your shoulders?

At a measly 5′5″, 125 lbs., I’ve scrambled, clawed, and grunted my way through three service-oriented businesses, not to mention life in general.

If you’re the type of person, the type of business owner, who regularly carries four bags in two hands, a box under one arm, clamps loose papers between the fingers of one hand and car keys in the fingers of your other, and still manages to get the front door unlocked without dropping anything–we need to talk.

You Mean I Have to Take Care of Myself On Top of Everything Else?

You know, they call me the infrastructure queen here at Heart of Business, and I have to laugh. In all my earnestness in setting up structures to help our business sustain itself and grow, I’ve been forced to face the lack of support I’ve built within my self. It’s been what you might call a Divine arm twist behind back. The kind that makes you gasp, “Uncle.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve exercised, eaten obsessively well, avoided alcohol, caffeine, refined sugar, wheat . . . for years. I’ve meditated off and on since I was 18 years old, read oodles of spiritual and self-help books, chanted, yoga’d, and communed with nature intimately.

Yet ironically, it was as a self-employed massage therapist many years ago–meditating between each client and being surrounded by peaceful music, candles, incense, and transformation daily–that my internal infrastructure, what of it I’d managed to prop up alone, took its greatest tumble.

Exhausted from holding all the bags, at 29 years old, I began having nightmares, feeling anxious and depressed, experiencing palpitations that led to terrifying bouts of tachycardia. And it got worse before it got better.

I know many ways to take care of myself; I’ve actively practiced many of them. But in my experience, they don’t hold you up if they’re not anchored in a sturdy, yet dynamic, structure, something far greater than my self.

Something’s Got to Give

In your business, you can be plugging info into Quickbooks, creating elaborate folder systems set up for your emails and files, generating new information on your website and blog, attracting clients, and getting by financially . . .

But if you don’t have a clear strategy and system that ties each of these efforts together, a structure greater than the sum of parts, you’ll be the one continuing to hold the weight of those efforts.

You will continue to be the infrastructure holding your business together. You’ll be the one continuing to hold the bags, the one mustering the energy and strength to keep them off the ground. And we both know, the longer you hold those bags, the heavier they get.

If you are holding your personal bags as well . . . well . . . the bough breaks.

Getting to the Source of Well-Being

But if you don’t know deep in your soul, in that place that knows you’re only responsible for opening and receiving the Divine energy of life and sharing it, you’ll continue to feel like you’re holding all the weight of maintaining of your well-being.

No matter how many tools you’ve piled up in your “please take care of yourself box,” you’ll still be using them as if you’re responsible for making them work and having them work for you. Wow, that’s straddling the line, huh?

If you don’t know on what or where to set your personal bags, it’s unlikely you’ll find an easy spot to rest your business bags.

As you might benefit from asking why you’re changing internet servers for the third time this year, or why you’re still ignoring your financial books for another month, or why you’ve to stayed up all night to meet a project deadline again, you will benefit from asking why about your personal well-being.

The Ultimate Infrastructure

How often it turns out that what you believe you want is not what you are actually longing for. So what shows up can often be deceiving in its importance.

All my adult life I’ve longed for someone to show up who I could share work with that is meaningful, purposeful, and creative. Working with a master Sufi teacher and successful entrepreneur who teaches heart-centered business and marketing methods, was not what I had been envisioning, but there we were. Mark doin’ his thing and needing some help, struggling in my freelance business needing supplemental cash.

Nope, he wasn’t that someone I had always been looking for exactly. And he’s exactly the turning point catalyst for finding the working relationship I’ve really been after. Inconspicuously, as I’ve toiled at reinforcing Heart of Business’ infrastructure, a business founded on spiritual practice and guidance, I’ve been being led internally to tend to my own lacking infrastructure.

How about you? Consider striving to incorporate self-caring and nurturing into your daily life. Owner your own business is demanding enough when you are replenishing yourself regularly. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.

• Eat whole, natural foods.
• Drink purified water all day–keep a full quart jar on your desk.
• Sleep eight hours a night.
• Get out and exercise, breath fresh air deeply and often.
• Play.
• Share your feelings, thoughts, and experiences with those you trust and love.
• Revel in beauty and practice gratitude.
• Avoid things, people, and places that threaten or harm your well-being.
• Dare to explore your inner world, especially the wounded nooks and crannies that can mislead you.
• Sit peacefully and remember your Source, fill up often and give it away.

But . . . Don’t forget to rest it all in the ultimate infrastructure–Divine Source. Your shoulders will thank you, as will your longings.

Only then walk into your office and do the same there. I’ll be right behind you, beginning again each time I falter. Remember infrastructures are dynamic. They expand, contract, transform with growth. In their purity they are messy at times. And if embraced, they certainly hold you in life and business.

Makes you wonder and doubt–did someone not buy simply because they didn’t buy, or is this the beginning of the end of your business?

You don’t want to stick your head in the sand. But if you did you might be able to stay inspired and motivated despite it all.

What’s really going on? Well, you may just be sitting in a little financial market stress disorder and it’s blowing everything way out of proportion.

Why Pagers Upset Me

For some reason a friend and I were talking about pagers. It was just a moment in a conversation, but I had to blink a few times. You see, nearly every time someone mentions “pager,” I have a disturbing image spring to mind.

I was the responding paramedic in a rural area where two cars had slammed into each other head-on at very high speeds in the middle of the night. One car had been torn in half, and I won’t give you the rest of the details. However, we discovered the cause of the crash later.

In one of the cars, a pager was beeping. We guessed the driver had reached over to read his pager and accidentally crossed the double-yellow line into the oncoming car. Tragic.

Unfortunately, when someone mentions “pager” this scene still pops up in my mind. Pagers aren’t really used any more, but years later it still affects me.

This is a symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). If you are exposed to very traumatic images once or just disturbing images multiple times, you can start to experience a mild form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Guess what’s happening in the news these days with the economy? Watch, listen, or read too much, and you could, and I’m being serious about this, end up experiencing mild to moderate symptoms of PTSD. Just like other trauma, an ongoing financial threat plays havoc with our fears around survival and security.

Cycles and Transformation

Two things to remember: our economy has always run in cycles. Even with the stock market crash of 1929, the economy picked up again a few years later. With the various recessions and hard times we’ve had in the past things have always come around.

And with each of the those cycles, everyone may be affected, and yet some people still thrive and do well. The ones who do well will be the ones who can stay centered, grounded and make decisions from wisdom and love, not from fear and stress.

You can, and will, probably feel fear and stress. Just don’t make business decisions based on those feelings. First return to wisdom and love.

The second thing to remember is that the world, our culture, is desperately needing transformation. Whatever your business is, if you are bringing heart to it, you are involved in helping this world become a better place. We need you. Your clients need you. Don’t doubt that.

So, what do you do during these crazy times in our financial market? Let me share with you some of what we’re doing.

Keys to Business Health When the Market Dives

• Avoid the News and Support Your Health

Well, you don’t have to completely avoid the news. But you want to stop searing the words of calamity and fear into your head. When I was on a team debriefing critical incidents, such as when a really horrific shooting was displayed on the news, we told people affected to stop watching the news. You got the facts, now turn it off.

In addition, it’s important not to change your routine. Get physical exercise, drink water, eat healthfully. Avoid systemic depressants like alcohol. Your system is dealing with a lot of fear out there, it needs all the help it can get.

• Stay Connected to Your Vision

This can seem simple, but the truth is your vision has a long-term aspect to it. That long-term aspect can see past the bumps and bruises that are happening right now.

By connecting to your vision, you don’t have to fall into the fear that what’s going on now is the way things will always be. Your vision speaks to you of the possibility of healing, growth and transformation, and it can keep your heart connected to what’s real.

Here at Heart of Business we just worked on our five to ten year vision, and it sees far beyond any ups and downs that might go on over the next few years.

• Get Focused in Your Marketing

When people get scared, they pull back needing trust and reassurance. Businesses who also pull back look like they suddenly disappeared, and so your clients can lose faith in you.

Simply by showing up with heart-centered marketing, which emphasizes safety, empathy and connection, you can build more trust with the clients who really need you.

And they do, they really do. Their problems don’t go away simply because the markets took a flop. In fact, now may be the time they need help more than ever.

It’s easy to get scared when the world seems to have gone crazy. And, there are real pains and troubles that people are experiencing. But if you take care of yourself and don’t get caught up in the news-loop that can give you Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, then you can return to wisdom and love.

With that reconnection to wisdom and love, your vision can carry you beyond the present moment. If you continue to show up for your clients and potential clients with wisdom, love and heart-centered marketing, then I have every confidence that your business can be a part of what will help the economy recover and thrive once more.

I’m wondering what steps you’re inspired to take to care for yourself around the financial goings-on?

Smooth move, eh? I had just executed the perfect tactic to avoid being hired. Or did I? Before I tell you what happened next, let me tell you about a friend.

My friend hated me.

“Well, every time I read one of your newsletters, it seems like everything is always sunny, cheerful and great in Mark’s world. And I get depressed because my world, in that moment, looks like c#@p. It doesn’t look like Mark’s world.”

If you read the ocean of blogs and newsletters, there’s a lot of talk about ‘authenticity.’ And yet the overall tone is one of everyone being in a perpetual good mood, as if someone had been sneaking Zoloft into their lattes. Which, when you’re looking for help and support, can either cheer you up, or totally piss you off.

Well, let me be clear: as I sit down to write this newsletter, I’m in a bad mood. Yoga was hard this morning. I didn’t sleep so well last night. The month has been, business-wise, the slowest of the year. I have a promise to get a final document to the participants in the Heart-Centered Article Writing Course, and I can’t find the creative -oomph- to get it done.

And we haven’t yet brought our new assistant on-board, so I’ve got a bunch of little stuff to do, that I don’t wanna do.

Nothing horrible. No tragedies. Millions of people have it much worse. But I’m just in a bad mood.

Is it okay to be in a bad mood? Even more, is it okay to market in a bad mood? Or do I always have to have my cheer on?

Forcing myself to find a teaching.

Even though I’m in a bad mood, and I just don’t wanna, I’m going to push myself a little and dig up a teaching about it all.

Here’s the Sufi teaching: Always be in authentic service. Always.

Too much freedom overwhelms us. Even all the marketing professionals say that if you give a customer too many choices, they many not buy anything at all.

Being in service limits your freedom in a healthy way. The heart, in order to feel alive, needs to serve.

Now here’s the million-karma-point question: in service to what?

You could be in service to your readers or clients. Except that from time to time you might feel like a dog that’s been kicked too many times, just because you’re in a bad mood (not because you’re clients are abusive.)

You could be in service to your self. Except when you’re in a bad mood, that tends to lead to empty ice cream containers, too many lattes, and a vaguely nauseous feeling from over-indulgence.

The real trick is to stay in service to Source. Not in a collapsed “I’ll keep working because I have to” way. And not in a “I’m super-doodle and can keep doing anything because Source is on my side!” kinda way.

What happens if you do that?

Well, that guy who called me? We had an authentic conversation about how we really are. I was in a bad mood, he was too. That’s why he was calling. And, despite my mind-numbingly stupid marketing tactic, he hired me.

That’s right. It worked, even though I didn’t have my Suzy Sunshine cheer on. What the bleep?!? How can that work?

Well, lemme tell ya- it ain’t always easy, because it does take some self-knowledge, and willingness to slow down. Being in service to Source when you’re in a bad mood… let’s take a look at how you can do it.

Keys to Being in Service When You’d Rather Not.

• Feel rotten.

You’re in a bad mood. Be in a bad mood. But, don’t -BE- the bad mood. The subtle difference here is one of consciousness.

I can either stomp around, kicking the cat, yelling at my wife, and throwing things, or numbing out to bad YouTube videos. Or, I can breathe, check-in, and notice that I feel anxious, upset, grumpy, and that I’ve got tension and misery bound up in my body.

And not try to change it. Just feeling it. Instead of yelling or kicking, I speak it: “Hey Holly, I am in a grumpy, bad, no-good mood, and I feel like throwing things.”

Sometimes that changes my mood. Sometimes it doesn’t. But either way, there is now space for me to be just where the heck I am.

• Connect to Source.

Whether you use the Remembrance that I teach, or your own way, you need to connect to a larger Reality. Because when you’re in a bad mood, your perspective is, shall we say, limited.

Caution! Connecting isn’t about trying to force yourself into peacefulness, or love, or beauty. Here’s how I do it: “Hey, I’m in a bad mood. And Source. I feel rotten and miserable and run-down. And Love. I want to yell and throw things. And the Divine is here, too.”

Nothing fancy. No changing or fixing yourself. Just showing up authentically, and remembering that Source is also present. Yes, even here, in your bad mood.

• Now, be in service.

You’re connected. You’re in a bad mood. Ask: “Hey Source, I’m in a bad mood. What’s being called for here?”

Bow your head. No, you don’t feel like, but bow your head anyway. Source is in charge, and when you’re in a bad mood, your individual perspective is probably not as inclusive or insightful as Source’s.

Bow your head and ask: “What is being asked for? Where am I being led? What’s truly alive?” If what comes pisses you off more, say “Yes” to it anyway… and then ask for more information: “Wow, now I’m even more pissed off. What part of the message didn’t I hear yet?”

My example: I was pissed off, and on deadline to write an article. When I connected, I had a little more spaciousness in my heart. Then I asked- and heard that I had to get the article done. Which pissed me off. And then asked again: “Write from where you are. Stop trying to be somewhere you’re not.”

And this article just flowed out of me. I hope you like it.

I would wrap this article up neatly with a conclusion, but I still have the remnants of my bad mood, so I’m just going to end with: be yourself. Stop trying to always put your cheer on.

Here’s the gist of the article, quoting founders Jason Fried and his colleague David Heinemeier Hansson:

“No, less is less—because more is not better! Everyone tries to do too much: solve too many problems, build products with too many features. Our goal is to do less, to build half a product rather than a half-assed product. So we say ‘no’ to almost everything. If you include every decent idea that comes along, you’ll just wind up with a half-assed version of your product. What you really want to do is build half a product that kicks ass.”

The article doesn’t specify which of them said that glorious quote, but it doesn’t matter, there’s a whole lotta truth in it.

I wrote about how Productivity Contributes to Global Warming and Debt, and here’s a super-successful company, one for which we’re raving fans, who shows you how to be sustainably successful by doing less. Much less.

Are you able to resist the urge to do more, be more? Can you be less than all you can be, and be happier as a result? Tell us about your next project/product/offering your business is making- do you have an idea of how you can make it less, and thus make it more successful?

I want to riff off of the post I put up the end of April, How Productivity Contributes to Global Warming and Debt. The issue, as I was talking about then, was capacity. And yet, there’s an awful lot of things to get done in business.

This week’s article addresses the myth that I also touch upon on my website proper: The Most Dangerous Myth. Many people, when they go solo in business, think that’s it: “I’m solo in business.” Amelia Earhart flew solo, too. She may have accomplished a lot, but I don’t want you ending up where she did.

Take a gander at the article: The Myth of Being Successfully Solo in Business.

This myth is dangerous, is powerful, is alluring, and it will kill you and your business, quicker than almost anything else will. It’s a hard one to shake, I know because I was caught in it for years longer than I needed to be, so let’s talk about it.

What’s your heart telling you? Are you flying solo too much for your own good? What do you need to break your solo-ness?

And, we also don’t ask- is what we’re receiving fundamentally nourishing, that we would want more of it?

When I’m looking for more in my business- more subscribers, more sales, more clients- I sometimes forget to ask myself: What’s ‘enough’? As has been pointed out to me many times, infinite growth isn’t possible in nature- we call that cancer.

I’m sure you’re not looking for cancer, eh?

No more than a fist.

My Sufi teacher has taught me that when I eat, I should never eat more than a fist-sized portion of food at one sitting. I may not be completely ‘full’ but that’s a good thing- it means there’s room for air and water in my stomach, too- which means I can actually digest what I’ve eaten.

I’m wondering: What are you asking for? What is your sense nourishment? And in your current business goals, what’s the equivalent of a ‘fist-sized’ portion?