Comments on: How to Get Fear Off Your Business's Back

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:41:12 +0000

Rock on! I’m glad you found this one. I can’t tell you how surprised I was to find that there was more to the message, and how much this continues to help me. I’m glad you are stepping out more and more through listening to the full message.

And Jason rocks!

By: Corrina Gordon-Barnes

Corrina Gordon-Barnes — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:02:40 +0000

Just found this via your latest post about fear – and love your point about hearing the full message “you shouldn’t be here…. xyz”. It’s that xyz that makes ALL the difference – if only we can breathe enough to hear that last bit.

I’ve been doing more scary out-of-my-comfort-zone things in my biz thanks to working with your stellar mentor Jason Stein – and past that fear is a lot more calm and integrity than there was when I was blocked behind the fear.

Thanks, as ever
Corrina

By: Are You (Gulp!) Scared?

Are You (Gulp!) Scared? — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 20:18:17 +0000

[...] How to get fear off your business’s back Photo by Bob Smith ArrayArrayArrayArrayArrayArrayArrayArrayArray [...]

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:59:50 +0000

Birdy, Trisha, Athena- I’m so glad! This was obviously a big one for me, too.

By: Athena

Athena — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:17:59 +0000

I’ve never looked at fear that way before. Thanks for the insight.

By: Trisha Cupra

Trisha Cupra — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:16:23 +0000

Thanks for the encouragement.

By: Birdy Diamond

Birdy Diamond — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:34:12 +0000

Greetings!

Thnx again for the gift of your wisdom. I really needed to read this today – there are no co-incidences.

Been taught that fear is simply the edge of what you know, which has helped a great deal. I love the addition to that message of learning what the WHOLE of the message is, instead of the HOLE of it.

Bright Blessings & Good Fortune!
-Birdy! :>

By: Mark

Mark — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:23:36 +0000

Woo-hoo, Qrystal- glad to hear it. In my experience, making space and listening to the whole message often makes such a huge difference. I’m glad you’re feeling encouraged.

By: Qrystal

Qrystal — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:47:37 +0000

So there I was, with my stomach knotted from the tension of unspecified causes, knowing only that I was physically feeling something that was caused by my mental state. I was journaling about it, and left my journal in order to find out “what to do when beating oneself up so much that it results in physically feeling ill”.

It didn’t occur to me that I was feeling fear, although I guess if I had to pin it down, I probably would’ve said anxiety, which I know is really just a fancy word for fear (useful when one’s greatest fear is fear itself). Maybe I did subconsciously know what I was feeling though, because I was drawn to several articles about fear.

Yours resonated with me because of its description of the physical symptoms, and the idea of where to go from there. I keep re-inflating my chest to encourage the spaciousness to help me feel calm enough to reason through this fear.

So what am I afraid of? I’m afraid:
* I’m going to fail;
* I’m going to let people down;
* I’ll never get this done.

The rest of the message seems to be, “…IF I don’t give this task a reasonable amount of attention, regularly, with an adequate amount of rest in between.” (I think I’m also partly afraid that in order to finish, I must work nonstop for weeks if not months, and so if I start working, I’ll never be able to let myself stop.)

My reaction to fear tends to be to avoid the thing I’m afraid to face. Of course this doesn’t help the situation, I always know this! However, in the short term, avoidance does take my attention away from the stress and so I sort of “feel better”. This is my reward for removing the stimulus, and so my behaviour of avoiding the fear is reinforced (negative reinforcement) and thus it repeats. Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse…

I’m really hoping that I can get better at directing my attention to the message and what I can do about it, instead of letting the symptoms and automatic reactions guide my way. It’s hard, when it’s this ingrained into me, but between this article and the one of Havi’s that led me here, I am feeling very encouraged.
Qrystal’s lastest post: Resolving to Overcome My Stuckness

By: Mark Silver

Mark Silver — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 22:44:09 +0000

@Joely- That’s a great rest of the message, eh? Makes it all much easier… whew! This approach to fear was such a big revelation when it hit me, I’m relieved that it resonates so strongly with you, too.

Hey, I’m glad you like the pop math quizzes. That’s a bonus, eh?