by MarkSomeone was getting started, like brand-new, in their business, and I recommended giving away free sessions to people, willy-nilly. And she was like: "You know, we've got bills to pay. How much is really okay to give away, without going gonzo about it?"
Fair question. Giving it away for marketing purposes can have limited impact. One of my favorite lines came from a professional speaker I was listening to. He was talking about all the offers he'd received to do free talks "for the exposure" and said to me, "You know, Mark, you can die from exposure."
And yet, he was somewhat missing the point, because marketing is really only one reason, and not necessarily the best reason, to give your work away.
The real reason is to build faith in your potential clients, so they'll trust you enough to sign up for your offers
New Clients Come To You In Faith
When someone new signs up to work with you, they sign up purely in faith. They've experienced your presence in some way through a conversation, a website, articles, something. And yet they've never actually experienced your work.
They are agreeing to give time and money to the situation, because they have faith that you can help them.
The big question is: where does their faith come from?
It's not a mental belief, as in "I believe in the Tooth Fairy." For me, faith describes an in-the-bones experience of trust.
Faith, in this sense, is something that grows from experience. You go to a restaurant a few times, and each time the food is fantastic, and your faith that they are always going to deliver a four-star meal grows.
Even spiritual faith is built this way. No spiritual path is asking for blind faith. Legitimate paths ask you to try out the practices, to see for yourself. After awhile, if you notice that you're experiencing more love, peace and trust in your heart, your faith grows.
If new clients are coming to you in faith, and yet they haven't experienced your work yet, there's only one place they can get their faith in you.
New Client Faith is About Transmission
Transmission is the direct acquisition of experience from one person to another, bypassing a conscious learning experience. Yes, it does happen, and often.
And one of the times it happens is when a client asks, "Can you help me?" And you, looking them full in the eye, say with quiet strength, confidence and clarity: "Yes."
Zzzzzzt! Transmission. They have faith in you, because they can feel the goodness.
The trick is, you can only transmit that because you've got it yourself. You can't fake it. You have to *know* that you can help them. And that knowing, that internal faith comes from experience.
Which is why you're giving so much away. But back to the original question: How much is too much? When do you stop? How do you balance between giving it away and earning a living?
Let's take a look.
Keys To Giving Away the Faith
- When you're new fill up completely.
When I started, I wondered if I had what it took to have a "full" practice at maybe 15-20 sessions in a week. That's what I did. Just about every session was free, and I just gave away tons of time.
Of course, I also had lots of free practice sessions to do as homework for Sufi healing school, so that was part of it. But there were quite a few weeks in there, when most of the sessions were free, or deeply discounted.
Believe me, I had some serious confidence in myself after doing that many sessions. Yes, I also had a part-time job at the time.
- Don't worry about being "undervalued."
People may tell you: "You're underselling yourself!" Or "You're not respecting yourself!" Don't listen to them (unless your heart agrees with them).
Until you hold the confidence and faith in your own heart, you won't be able to ask for a higher price anyway, so you might as well build that strength and faith in yourself as quickly as you can.
- Give until it's no longer time.
How much is too much? How long is too long? Pay attention. It can be very easy to get on track with something and just go on autopilot.
Use your heart to pick a period of time (one month?), or an amount (20 sessions?) and then check back in with yourself once you get there. Is it time to start charging, or charging full price?
That transmission of faith and experience is really powerful for people, and is a big piece of the trust that clients need in order to become your clients. If you aren't there yet, don't try to fake it.
Instead, give away your work, build up your confidence, and then the transmission will come much more naturally. As will getting paid.
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17 Comments... Care To Join Us?
Hi Mark,
Another great article - thank you.
You have an exquisite understanding of the interplay between what is going for us as individuals and what is going on in our businesses.
This gives me permission to offer some more free stuff until I have more faith in myself.
Jane
When I first started coaching, I gave free sample sessions and now I can look back and see that I was doing this in order to build faith in myself, as much as to help the prospective client develop faith in me. I didn't know I was good at what I do until I'd done it enough times to see that I was!
There was a definite internal moment, about a year ago, when sample sessions just didn't feel right any more. As I have writing all over the web and other ways of people 'checking out' my approach (talks, workshops etc), it felt right to switch to shorter consultations. I find these are now often 'confirmations', instead - they have already decided to work with me and just wanted to check in. The last few times (yep, since working with YOUR material, Mark!) I've asked if they have any questions and they say "No, it just feels right. I knew that already. I totally trust this process".
Deep breath. It feels good.
With love and gratitude
Corrina
Corrina Gordon-Barnes´s last blog post..#76 - Change One Thing
Hi Mark,
Thanks and great timing for this article. I am putting together a heart-centred way to connect with potential clients, and when I talked to a web designer, he seemed...well, confused that I would give my acknowledgement cards away for free. But this explains why in my heart, I have known they are supposed to be free....it strengthens my focus to move forward, and build my faith in my ability to deliver consistently...for myself, and to test which ones are resonating anyway. Also, to work on a clear plan so when I interact with others helping me, I am clear about why I am doing it! Naturally the ones that really make a difference will surface, and I expect will be lastingin resonance. In the meantime, I will be able to explore and build a cache, get feedback, and be building relationships with potential clients, who will soon have the kind of experience those who know me best do.
Kelly
Perfect timing again! I have been tossing this idea around for a while and it just felt right, but I didn't quite *believe* it yet.
I think this just gave me the push I needed.
Thanks!
Amy Mommaerts´s last blog post..Missing in Action, But Not Gone
Hi Mark,
One of my coaching instructors was Thomas J. Leonard. Thomas used to tell new coaches to aim to work with 100 clients and to accomplish this as quickly as possible "even if you have to pay them."
His point was that after you work with 100 clients something changes fundamentally in the confidence you have in yourself. That's the "in your bones" faith that you have in what you do.
Another thing that occurred to me as I read your post is the importance of having an alternative source of income if you're doing lots of free or very low cost work to build your experience.
Sometimes I see new business owners in an absolute panic because they need new paying clients in order to pay the rent and put food on the table. Sometimes it can be done. Usually however, it's horribly stressful and it's hard to transmit that quiet confidence when you're wondering where your next meal is coming from.
One other question that comes up for me here is do you have any suggestions for finding work that pays enough. A lot of part time jobs don't pay a living wage (like working at Micky D's).
Any thoughts on this Mark?
Peace
Judy
Judy - I had two fantastic part-time jobs in the first 2-3 years of building my coaching business. One was as a home-tutor (teaching English) and one was as a youth worker.
Together, that brought in enough income to cover all my required outgoings and meant I felt a lot freer in my business explorations.
I also got a lot of my early coaching work through these positions - coaching the teens and the parents of the teens I'd been working with, and then from their recommendations. So as well as being a source of income, a good part-time job can also be marketing!
With love, Corrina
Corrina,
You make a great point, it's even better when you can have part time jobs that pay enough AND provide hands-on experience related to your new career.
It strikes me that this would be a great biz opportunity for someone: to help career changers find part time jobs that pay the bills and provide hands on experiences.
@Jane- I'm glad you've gotten the support to give away more stuff. Just remember to keep listening for the time when it's no longer right- See Corrina's comment further down.
@Corrina- Exactly! Such a process, eh? Amazing to watch, and it can take some nerve, sometimes, to trust that it will shift, that you will get to that moment.
@Kelly- Interesting about the acknowledgment cards- I'm glad you're trusting your intuition. And, I wonder if/when it will shift for those?
@Amy- There ya go! 
@Judy- I love that advice from TJL. I never knew him or studied his work, but the more I hear about him, the more I think he had some great wisdom.
The question you ask is a good one. I'm not a big believe in jumping off of cliffs, unless your guidance is crystal clear and unshakeable. I'm much more into supporting people to take little steps. Corrina's following comment is similar to my story. I worked part-time jobs- first as a paramedic, then as an office manager/assistant for a mentor, while I was getting going.
Working a part-time job while starting out is not failure! It's usually pretty smart.
@Corrina- Definitely those sound like fun jobs. And the point you make is really important. You have to be free to experiment, to test, and try things out when you're new (and when you're not so new) in business.
Not everything is going to work, and if you're in a position where you have no room for failure, then you have a lot of struggle ahead.
Yet another great article that really speaks through the heart. I have always struggled with this issue and have only recently realized that it is about confidence in me and my skills. Not only from my customers but for me! Thank you for confirming what I had been thinking about!
Andrea´s last blog post..Live a Life of Passion
@Andrea- Glad to confirm this for you.
Struggle no more! I hope...
Mark, my coaching practice (for competitors in triathlon, road running and track & field) doesn't lend itself to "one-off" consultations. I can't influence an athlete to reach a higher level of performance without establishing a longer-term relationship.
I'd bet a fair number of other practitioners feel similarly.
Apart from offering "scholarship slots" for promising athletes who otherwise couldn't work with me if I charged full freight, what else might I do?
@Mark- This is a great question. I think that there's a middle ground.
It's somewhat the same for me- I can't influence a person to have a really stable, solid business in one session- it can sometimes take weeks or months (or years-hopefully not!) depending on where they are and where they are going.
I have to admit that many of the free sessions I gave away in the beginning- many of them weren't necessarily one-offs. Often I would have several sessions with the same person- similar idea.
But, I'm guessing that there are things you can help athletes with that do lend themselves to one-offs, or maybe four or five-offs.
If you were to give away maybe 2-4 session packages, or three week packages, or however it makes sense- how does that land for you?
I shall ponder, then respond!
@Mark- Please don't forget the second part- the responding part. I'm definitely curious what you come up with.
Don't get caught in the "kitchen sink" syndrome, as you ponder.
Hi Mark,
Another really great post about something that I think a lot of people don't fully understand.
I have been in business for a very long time now and I have done a lot of things where I made either no or very little money. Sometimes it was individual sessions, sometimes it was doing a workshop when only two people showed up, sometimes it was padding workshops with friends and family members who were "paying " me with their love and support.
Oftentimes when I talk with people who are starting out as a coach or workshop facilitator they are kind of shocked and surprised that they have to "pay their dues" and take some time to build a solid sense of confidence in their work. Which eventually translates into client confidence.
They get themselves in trouble by assuming that they will have instant rock star status as soon as they hang out their shingle! And I have watched people say no to these beginning buds of their business, expecting and sometimes even demanding a full grown plant immediately.
And, of course, those people are no longer in business! And I am, thankfully, doing pretty alright.
Thanks again for your deep wisdom, big heart and inspiring words.
chris zydel´s last blog post..THE WISDOM OF NO MISTAKES: DRIPS CAN BE FUN ( or at least not total torture)
Hi Mark,
Great article and follow up discussion. Two points here:
1- I've moved from 'complimentary coaching sessions' to a 'coaching consultation,' and it's more than the phraseology for me. the former is more of giving away my services to see if they like what I'm offering. Free samples can be great but after awhile it begins to feel like everyone is sampling rather than sitting down for the full meal.
The latter is a time to determine if there's a good fit between the client and coach. For me, that means we need 3 yes's.
1- The first yes is does the client feel that Life On Purpose Coaching is a fit for what they're looking for? How will they know. I give them a sample of it. (This may be less than in my older days of comp sessions). I think it's because I've gotten better at digging in more deeply sooner.
2- Second yes, does my way and style of coaching a fit. I.E. would I be the best Life On Purpose Coach for them? Again, they get a sense of that from the above sample.
3- Third, are they a fit for me? Are they the type of client I feel I can really serve and add value to their life.
If all three parts are yes, we almost invariably find a way to work together. If not, we don't and I often can refer them to someone that might be a better fit.
Point #2: Ann and I have entered into a collaboration with http://www.trans4mind.com to offer free coaching through their web site. It's a fun experiment so far and I'm thoroughly enjoying it, plus I'm posting some of these on my blog which I feel is offering some value to the general blogosphere. It feels right to do so at this point, and thanks to your article, I'll keep 'checking in' with my guidance so I'll know if there's a time to make a change with it.
Brad Swift´s last blog post..Are You Giving Away Too Much?
@Chris- woo-hoo! I totally agree. Paying your dues is an important part of life. Instant rock star status is so detrimental- the few people who get it rarely handle it well, in any case. It's a protection for the heart. I think I feel an article coming on....
@Brad- I love those three questions. I have a similiar flow here- and it's much better not to rush people along too much.
And, even in my exploratory conversations with potential clients, when I see opportunities to help, I just give as much as feels right. Thanks for posting here and on your blog.
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