by MarkSomeone emailed me…
“I’m just starting out, and I’m ready to start writing a blog, newsletters, twitter, etc., etc. But I’m stuck. I know who I’m writing for in generic terms, but I can’t ‘feel’ them as individuals. I’m trying to write for a whole group of people when I’m naturally someone who works best on a one-to-one basis. How on earth do I write in a way that will resonate with people when there’s no immediate feedback, no dialogue? Rather than feeling that I’m writing and my words are just being sent into the ether…”
Yes! I so totally get this. I can’t write to nobody, either. That’s why I asked someone to email me a question to answer.
In fact, that’s one of the Big Secrets to Great Writing—just write to one person. Even if you’re hoping that hundreds of thousands of people will read what you write, they probably aren’t all clustered around the same 17″ laptop screen. And even if they were elbowing each other out of the way, each pair of eyeballs is still taking in your words of wisdom individually.
So, there you go. Write.
“Ahem,” you say?
Still sitting there in front of a blank screen, wondering how to jump from the generic to the individual? Okay, aside from using Twitter, or The Business Oasis to get questions to answer, I’ll show you what I do with my heart.
But first, let me explain something about how help is delivered.
Help Is Drawn Towards Need
Stand up, with no prior preparation on a moment’s notice, in front of thirty-odd people and deliver a healing talk to them. That’s what we made our students do when I taught in the Teacher Internship Program at the University of Spiritual Healing and Sufism.
Quite often the results were astounding. What would come forth from speakers would sometimes just send my heart flying, whoosh!
How did this work? There were a few principles involved:
First, everyone is needy. Our hearts are thirsting for love and Oneness in every moment. Always. Always. We can drink oceans dry and still not have our fill. As the Sufis say, “The aim isn’t to quench your thirst, the aim is to develop the perfect thirst so that you never stop drinking.”
This means that everyone in those classroom audiences was thirsting. This applies to you and your audience as well. No matter how big a kahuna anyone is, or how small and insignificant you feel, you can still be a conduit of love for them. And they still need the love.
Second, you are the conduit, not the Source. This means that when facing needy people, you don’t have to fill them up. However, you have an opportunity to be the bucket at the well, or the aqueduct, or whatever metaphor you choose.
Left-fielded question: what kind of conduit works best? An empty bucket, or a bucket full of sand? An empty pipe, or a pipe full of wadded up tissue paper? Yup, best to be empty.
Third, the Divine never fails to respond to true need. Call it trust, faith, or craziness, it’s just what happens. Even the Rolling Stones had it right on this one, “You don’t always get what you want…”
However, sometimes there’s a pause while we’re hooking up our conduit and letting it flow through. There’s no delay on the part of the Divine, but there can be a time-lag as we get in position to help.
It took some getting used to, but I’ve learned to love allowing “dead air” when I teach. Sometimes I’ll take what feels like an uncomfortably long time in silence to get connected, and then it flows through.
The mistake many of our Teacher Internship students made was rushing that connecting process. People sitting in front of you waiting expectantly, and you’re actually going to take an ENTIRE SIXTY SECONDS of silence to connect? OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod…
And when you spend the sixty seconds ohmyGod-ing, then it does become an uncomfortably long silence. But it’s not the silence, it’s the lack of connection.
And guess what? When you’re writing, there’s no one sitting in front of you, which is part of the problem. But it also means you can take as long an uncomfortable silence as you want.
Time to Connect
Try an experiment with me. First, think of a client or a friend, or someone else you know. Take a few moments to connect with your own heart (I suggest the Remembrance practice of course, but any heart-centering practice is good).
Now ask to connect with the heart of this other person. Don’t imagine. Don’t vision. Don’t make up pictures or stories. Just ask, with a willingness to be surprised. And take some time to notice what you notice, in your heart, in your mind, in your body.
There’s a connection. It’s there. It’s real. Trust it.
Use the Force, Luke
We started out with with the problem of knowing the kind of person you’re trying to reach, but not actually having any of them in front of you. You’re starting out at zero, brand new. No blog readers. No twitter followers. No current clients. Standing in the middle of a field, the breeze blowing through your hair, alone, you are.
There, bow your head. Touch into your humility. Let go of collapse and self-judgment, that’s not humility. Humility is when you realize how small you are, and that it’s okay.
Let go of everything you think you know. Connect with your heart. And ask to connect with the heart of someone your business is meant to serve. No name. No face. No personal knowledge. Just a heart connection. Ask for it. Be willing to be surprised.
Take some time with this. It may take a few minutes for you to connect, and for you to trust the connection.
Now ask to be made aware of their neediness, especially any neediness your heart can speak to. Be willing to be surprised.
Trust what comes in. Trust how your heart feels. Trust.
And then write. Write from that space of love and connection. Of compassion and humility. Of answering true need.
Okay, Let the Brain Back In
Once you have that connection, access the knowledge you have within your business. Answer some basic question people you help need answered. Continue to connect in with that neediness. Because you are writing to that one heart you were shown, you are giving to that one heart.
Try it. See what happens. And if you post it on a blog, come back here and post your link in a comment. I’d love to see what comes forth from your heart. Or, if you’re shy, you can email it to me.
p.s. Interested in having some one-on-one help for your business? Judy Murdoch is one of our Heart of Business practitioners, and she’s got a few client slots still open. She’d love the opportunity to open her heart and her deep knowledge of marketing, business and product creation to you. Organic Business Development Program.
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23 Comments... Care To Join Us?
What a fantastic post! It’s just what I needed to hear at this very moment. Bless you for being the conduit for my need to learn the mysteries of blogging.
Kirsten ’s lastest post: Sharing The Ineffable State of NOW #140 Conferences and Meetups
Thank you, Mark, what a gift this post has been to me! Remembering to Remember…I am deeply grateful for the grace of your deep wisdom.
I agree Susan, thanks a lot Mark for shedding some more of your wisdom. I found this post very helpful for trying to better connect with my own readers.
The Emotion Machine’s lastest post: How To Think Less And Do More: Turning Life Into Flow
Beautiful post. This is something I have been thinking about recently (what to write and how to provide value). You have articulated this brilliantly. I do try and let inspiration flow through me for each post but I will also try what you suggest here. Thanks for a great reminder..it is all about love.
thanks Mark for this post … I find that sometimes I’m inspired and a beautiful post just flows (like this one: http://eftwithdeborah.com/index.php/deborahs-blog/When-we-choose-to-leave-156.html)
and other times it’s not nearly as inspired. I find myself trying to “turn on” the inspiration which doesn’t work.
So my
(oops – I hit enter by mistake:)
so my question is, what do you do when you sit and connect and nothing shows up!?! To me that’s a sign to wait some more but I wonder how others approach it.
Thanks, I really enjoy your work.
Deborah Donndelinger’s lastest post: EFT Welcome
gosh, I’m just being clumsy on the key board today: the link is without the “)”:
http://eftwithdeborah.com/index.php/deborahs-blog/When-we-choose-to-leave-156.html
Deborah Donndelinger’s lastest post: EFT Welcome
This post feels like a personal gift to me! (Hey! As I write that, I’m realizing that’s just what you’ve been talking about!
)
I’ve been turning in a new direction and thinking of introducing it and rebuilding my healing business around it through creating a blog. And I have not been able to move forward with it at all. This post seems key.
Thank you!
Thanks for the post Mark. I have been feeling stuck on my blog (I haven’t written anything since September…) so this is a perfect message for me.
Thanks!
Mark,
I thought you’d like to know. It was my heart you connected with when you wrote this. Thank you
No, no, it was my heart you connected with!
Big Hugs, Alice
What an awesome process for truly connecting with your reader! I’d like to print out this post and read it over and over again.
A common exercise in copywriting/marketing is to create an avatar of your Perfect Customer. Give him/her a name, job, income, family life, hobbies, fears and frustrations, dreams…. You can even find a picture that you think best embodies your Perfect Customer and put it up on your computer.
The point is to paint a picture of your Perfect Customer that’s as concrete and real as your best friend.
And then, when you write, write to that one Perfect Customer.
That’s already a good suggestion as it is, but by doing the connection process you’ve described here, I can see how this connection can be made even deeper – and more effective.
Thanks for sharing!
Lexi Rodrigo’s lastest post: The Revised FTC Guidelines: What They Mean to You
Great post today! I find it really easy to overcomplicate things (particularly in the blogging world) – this post helps to nail down the simple truths. Thanks for writing!
Thank you, you always have perfect timing to get my back to my heart when my head seems to have taken over!
Andrea Travillian’s lastest post: How to Ensure You Reach Your Financial Goals
@Kirsten- Woo-hoo! I love divine timing- and glad to conduit for you and me.
@Susan- This has been an efficient gift- I need the reminder, too.
@Jen- Strangely, it IS all about love. Except for the bit that’s about compassion and peace.
@Deborah- Your link didn’t work for me- can you give me a corrected one? I’d love to read it. And yes, sometimes the inspiration is totally ON and sometimes and little harder to reach.
If nothing shows up, then two things: You may need to connect to something else, you may have another need that is more alive than trying to give to someone.
Or, you are thinking the connection is supposed to feel a certain way, so you’re missing the actual connection.
OH- there’s the link.
Thanks! There you go! Beautiful
@Jocelyn- Exactly- a personal gift from my heart to yours. I’m excited to see how your blog grows from this.
@Josh- Since September! I can so relate in other areas of stuckness. May this be the unstuckness for you!
@Erin- Thanks! I was wondering…
@Alice- Oh, of course, I meant you, Alice. Don’t tell Erin.
@Lexi- Yes- absolutely. The thing that always bothered me about the exercise you described is that it’s kind of like a stock photo- it feels make-believe. I know it really works for some people and hallelujah! For me, this process feels so much more alive and real.
@Jess- Simple truths are what I cling to- because the world does seem so complicated. Oy.
@Andrea- It’s just because I’m further down in the much, perhaps, and need to claw my way out by writing about it. Glad the rising tide lifted us all.
Mark —
I love this what you wrote:
“You may have another need that is more alive than trying to give to someone.”
That feels right to me!
Hugs and love to you,
D.
Deborah Donndelinger’s lastest post: EFT Welcome
Okay, Mark! I finally tried this out, and came up with the first real post for my new blog: “A Little Bird Told Me”. Hurrah, and thank you!
http://singingdeerhealing.com
In song,
Jane
Congrats! And I especially like the conversational flow in your blog. I’m celebrating you getting started in such a beautiful way! Way to go!
Thanks to you Mark! I’m bringing more heart to my posts. Do check ‘em out. Let me know what you think
http://bit.ly/4TvgIS
Syazwan Ahmad’s lastest post: Martial arts and entrepreneurship: The connection
Hey there Syazwan- Way to go. And it’s a nice short post. And I would love to hear more from you- is there a personal story you can tell, something you can relate from yourself or a client that can connect us to you?
Hi Mark
I finally took the plunge and started writing, following your beautiful guidance (yes, I was surprised!).
What transpired was not what I would typically think of as a ‘blog’, but an article… so I allowed it to come forth in the way that it wanted to, and this is the result: http://www.helium.com/items/1724176-how-to-deal-with-redundancy
Thanks so much!!
With love and gratitude
Joolz
@Joolz- I’m so glad- and way to go with the article- it had a great, smooth flow to it. Nice!
I so much prefer writing in this connected way- glad it worked for you, too.
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