Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about support.
What is it? What kind is most appropriate for different situations? How do you discern what kind of support is needed most? When and how do you get it?
The reason I’ve been thinking about this is because, in our Community, we have a Compassionate Accountability process and each week, we’re asking our hearts the question, “What kind of support do you need?”
I see this as an important area for developing self awareness – in myself and in many clients that I’ve worked with over the years.
I want to invite you to take just a couple minutes and ask yourself, “What does really good support look and feel like to me?”
Notice if it’s easy or challenging for you to identify what real support looks like for you. Are you clear? How self-aware do you feel around this topic?
One of the team members in one of my small group coaching groups had been a bit stalled in completing a task – I’ll call them Sam. They were clear on what to do. They were ready to take action, but Sam just couldn’t seem to actually make the leap to take the action. What support was needed? Before I share the rest of the story, I’d like to share a simple way to discern the type of support that will serve you best.
There are a lot of dynamics in getting effective support for running and growing our businesses. I can’t cover them all here, but I want to share something simple that may be helpful to you in discerning what support you’re needing now.
6 Senses of Support
When you’re facing a project, task or obstacle that you might need support around, you can use your senses to help determine what support really resonates in your heart. The six senses I’m using in this article are: Sight, Touch, Taste, Smell, Hear, Intuition. Keep in mind, most of these can be sourced within you, or from someone else.
Sight: This sense asks, “what do you need to see?” Was there something Sam needed to see before they were able to take action? Would seeing an example help? Would seeing someone else completing a similar task successfully help? Would seeing some training help? Would “seeing” themselves completing the task in their imagination help (visioning)? This sense can also remind us of the need to be seen by others.
Touch: This sense asks, “what do you need to feel or touch?” Was Sam needing to connect to some feeling, or Divine quality first? Would they need to touch into their own sense of wholeness or confidence? This sense can also remind us of the need to be touched or felt by another.
Taste: This sense asks, “what do you need to have a taste of?” In Sam’s case, perhaps it would be helpful if they felt what it would be like to have this off their to-do list? Maybe having a taste of the possible positive outcomes would bring in the right support?
Smell: This sense asks, “what in your environment needs your attention?” Smell can alert us to subtleties in our environment (both good/bad) that may be impacting us. What’s going on in Sam’s environment that is affecting action? Is something else getting in the way – relationships, children, stressors, self-care?
Hearing: This sense asks, “what do you need to hear?” Was there something Sam needed to hear before they would or could take action? Did Sam need to hear encouragement, accountability, kindness, mercy? Maybe, simply hearing that they have been completely witnessed in not taking action would free them up to act. This sense can also remind us of the need to be heard.
Intuition: This sense asks, “what is your relationship with what is here, now?” Was Sam in resistance of some kind? Maybe not facing what was feeling true? Maybe if they tuned into their heart, they might notice a deeper, clearer sense that they were trying to take action from a place of neediness, instead of inspiration or connection?
As it turns out, the sense that was most supportive for Sam was Sight and Hearing. All other senses were ineffective – it wasn’t the kind of support they needed. In this case, Sam needed to be seen and heard – actually witnessed in completing the task. And so, as a group, we sat there on the phone with them as they took the action and completed the task. This act of being witnessed while taking action was powerful beyond measure. It continues to be powerful for Sam when new tasks that are especially “sticky” come up. Now, the whole team is aware that when we hear Sam get stuck on a task, we can witness them take the action, and it moves forward dramatically (if not magically).
There is a lot of nuance in how this plays out with various tasks, challenges and it is dependent on our own needs. Approaching it with curiosity and wonder can bring in a sense of fun and play in seeking support.
So, I encourage you to play with the senses when it comes to getting the support you need. Ask in remembrance, and keep asking to be shown. You might just be surprised at what kind of support will be truly supportive for you.
As you practice with this, I’d love to hear what you discover! Please share in a comment below.
